Cryptonews

At Bitcoin.com, we’ve polished the silver, tested the champagne, and RSVP’d ‘yes’ to the most refined crypto venues suitable even for the most demure debutante. Our connoisseurs evaluate from user charm to Bitcoin’s cheeky bonuses, ensuring your debutante ball into crypto gambling is nothing less than splendid. Whether you fancy spinning those slots or chatting up the dealer, Bitcoin ensures transactions are as quick as a wink and bonuses as tempting as a flirtation. 🍸✨

Because let’s be real, this isn’t just a “shuffle.” It’s a *statement*. And the timing? Chef’s kiss. 👩‍🍳✨

Looking back over the last 11 years, it’s clear why investors approach August with a cautious step. Out of these 11 years, 7 have ended in the red, leaving only 4 years of green. The numbers tell a grim tale: a median return of -9.98% and an average of -0.79%, according to CryptoRank. It’s a month where the coin’s value seems to wilt under the summer sun. ☀️

Now, one might wonder, has our dear Schwartz been lounging on a chaise longue, sipping tea while the world of XRPL whirled around him? Indeed, he confessed, with a twinkle in his eye, that he hasn’t personally operated XRPL infrastructure in recent years. But lo and behold! A unique opportunity has presented itself, like a stray cat at your doorstep, meowing for attention.

Rieder, the guy in charge of all that global fixed income stuff—sounds fancy—you know, the money part—says in a note to clients, “If the labor market keeps acting like a sloth, or if it’s still barely hiring like it’s an awkward family gathering, the Fed might just decide to go big—like, huge—and cut rates by 50.” 🎯

The constitutional amendment, a veritable feast of political innovation, not only stretches the presidential tenure to a luxurious six years but also abolishes the cumbersome runoff system. With a mere three dissenting votes from the opposition, the Bukele party secured 57 votes in favor, a triumph of unity and vision. 🗳️🌟

Key Support levels: $3, $2.7

Behold, dear reader, the tale of BNKR: once soaring to $0.00113, now humbled to $0.000823 in a mere ten hours. A tragedy? Perhaps. But also an opportunity for those who thrive on chaos. With a market cap of $83 million and daily trading volume at $39 million, this AI agent token is no stranger to attention. And oh, how it basked in the glow of Coinbase’s embrace on July 30th! Yet, can sentiment sustain itself when the spotlight fades?

Now don’t get too comfy with those moon charts just yet. Despite the arrival of fancy-schmancy ETFs trying to make this whole crypto business smell more like Wall Street and less like an internet gamble, the real players—the ones who’ve been sitting on their digital gold since dinosaurs roamed the blockchain—are finally starting to cash out. Yep, Wedson spilled the beans: half the Bitcoin tucked away in ETFs has already flown the coop.

In what can only be described as an episode of “Biz-Wow!,” Sal Gilbertie—the CEO who clearly got tired of counting bushels one day—popped up on CNBC’s “ETF Edge” to drop a truth bomb that tickled investors pink. Apparently, their new leveraged XRP ETF (basically digital corn chowder on blockchain) isn’t just doing well. It’s THE best thing they’ve ever done in 16 whole years of trying.