The crypto darling has been lounging just above the $3 mark, which—let’s be honest—has about as much grip as a soggy paper towel. Now, a new pattern is emerging, or at least pretending to: a double bottom, because who doesn’t love a good picture of stability? This setup suggests bulls might finally be rolling up their sleeves and charging ahead—if history is anything like Twitter predictions, that is.
Picture Ethereum charging ahead past a modest $3,800, fueled not by fairy dust but by a tsunami of interest in spot ETH ETFs, record inflows from the mighty institutions, and some technical magic that suggests a monster move is brewing. According to the wise analyst Ali Martinez (@ali_charts, who probably sleeps with charts under his pillow), Ethereum might flirt with $4,220—and if it’s feeling particularly adventurous—hit $5,140—mind you, if the sacred support at $3,300 holds firm. The MVRV Pricing Bands are whispering secrets that only cryptic prophets can decipher. 🧙♂️
This trust, they say, is a “simple investment vehicle.” Simple, indeed, like a Chekhovian character’s motivations—opaque yet somehow compelling. 🧪 Grayscale, ever the visionary, continues its march beyond “traditional assets,” as if tradition were a shackle and not a foundation. 🏛️→🚀 Will this new venture flourish, or shall it join the chorus of forgotten crypto experiments? Only time, that relentless critic, will tell. 🕰️
So this guy, Merlijn The Trader (yes, he sounds like a medieval knight), decided to hop on X (formerly Twitter) and drop some knowledge bombs about something called a “MACD crossover.” Apparently, this magical crossover happens right before altcoins decide to moon. It happened in 2017, then again in 2020, and even earlier this year in 2024. And now, guess what? Another bullish crossover just showed up in July. 🎉 Cue the confetti!
In a post that I can only imagine was typed with the fervor of a caffeinated squirrel, Dark Defender announced that wave 4 is officially in progress. He even threw in some jargon about the Relative Strength Index (RSI) to make it sound like he knows what he’s talking about. Spoiler alert: he does. He claims we’ve already completed Waves 1, 2, and 3, which sounds like a very confusing rollercoaster ride. 🎡
Picture an ocean of giant whales—well, in this case, Bitcoin whales—those who hold from 10 to 10,000 BTC, swimming around with a suspicious amount of swagger. According to the clever folks at Santiment, these whales control roughly 68.44% of all Bitcoin, and since March, they’ve lugged in over 218,570 shiny new BTC—roughly 0.9% of their collection—stuffed into their digital wallets faster than you can say “HODL.” Over just 18 weeks of 2025, they’ve been quite the busy bunch. Meanwhile, on the ever-reliable X (formerly known as Twitter), an analytical eagle eye spotted more of these whales grabbing another 30,000 BTC in just 48 hours. Confidence? You betcha. The ocean’s getting crowded.
In a digital missive—what some might call a tweet, but to these fervents was an invocation—they reminded the world that their cause was rooted in the love for memes and the pursuit of distinction. They proclaimed to the universe—”Build different,” they declared, cheekily hinting that Elon Musk, a man of stars and rockets, would surely grasp this peculiar ethos—an ethos that said, “Memes are life, and coins should burn.”
According to the latest gossip, the wallet’s going under the digital knife for about 15 minutes. That means no deposits or withdrawals – it’s like your bank account suddenly went on a short sabbatical. But don’t panic; you can still trade tokens. (After all, if you can’t trade, you might as well curl up with a good Bridget Jones novel, right?) Binance promises to swing deposits and withdrawals back open once the network’s had its brief beauty sleep.
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Chainlink’s chart resembles a caffeinated bull who just discovered espresso. In the short term, LINK has turned bullish, consolidating above $18 with an intraday gain of 1.91% and a weekly uptick of 1.73%. A whopping $610.33 million in trading volume? That’s trader enthusiasm loud enough to wake up even the most skeptical bears. 🐻❄️