Hayden Adams just handed Citadel a mic drop wrapped in a subpoena. 📜💥 Because nothing says “holiday cheer” like a hedge fund giant trying to turn DeFi into a spreadsheet nightmare. 🎩🐍
- Hayden Adams called out Citadel for playing Whack-A-Mole with financial freedom-first blocking Constitution DAO, now lobbying to turn DeFi devs into SEC paper-pushers. 🦹♂️
- Citadel’s SEC letter argues DeFi folks are “basically” exchanges. Because of course, peer-to-peer code is totally the same as a Goldman Sachs trading desk. 🙄
- Citadel warns tokenized stocks will create a “shadow market.” Oh no! A world where finance isn’t controlled by guys in $3k suits! 🕶️
Uniswap’s Hayden Adams roasted Citadel so hard, Ken Griffin’s probably Googling “how to unexist” rn. 🔥 Because when you’ve spent decades rigging markets, open-source tech must feel like a middle finger to your Rolodex. 🖕
First Ken Griffin decided to play villain in Constitution DAO’s origin story 🦹♂️
Now he’s pitching DeFi as “TradFi: Blockchain Edition” 🎬
Bet Citadel’s been lobbying in secret like a Bond villain with a spreadsheet 📊
This isn’t drama-it’s a horror movie. But guess who’s the final girl?
– Hayden Adams 🦄 (@haydenzadams) December 4, 2025
Adams clapped back on X, comparing Citadel’s SEC stunt to “asking a fox to guard the crypto henhouse.” 🦊🔐 He also roasted their “fair access” argument: “Oh, the nerve of the guys who invented ‘dark pools’ worrying about market fairness!” 😂
Citadel’s filing claims DeFi “can’t provide fair access.” Because obviously, the solution to shady market-making is more… shadier oversight? 🤡
Hayden Adams vs. Citadel: The Showdown No One Ordered 🎬
Citadel’s letter basically says, “DeFi? Just crypto-adjacent banking in disguise!” Meanwhile, Adams retorts: “No, it’s literally the opposite. 🤦♂️”
The SEC filing argues tokenized stocks will create a “shadow equity market.” Oh no! Because nothing says “democratic finance” like letting Citadel police the blockchain. 🚯
Citadel also opposes crypto groups’ exemption requests. Ah yes, because when you’ve spent decades rigging the system, the idea of fairness feels like a personal attack. 🎯
If Citadel wins, DeFi devs might need a CPA, a lawyer, and a therapist. 💼⚖️🧠
And remember: Griffin once outbid Constitution DAO for the U.S. Constitution. Because nothing says “freedom” like a billionaire hoarding founding documents. 📜💸
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2025-12-04 10:32