Crypto Chaos: Which Coin Will Survive Trump’s Turmoil? Find Out Now!
Once upon a time, in the land of rules and regulations, a man named Donald Trump decided he was going to turn America into the shiny new crypto playground. With promises grand enough to make a Hollywood director jealous, he declared his love for digital money, vowing to make the US the undisputed king of crypto. Spoiler alert: it was almost as successful as trying to herd cats in a thunderstorm.
Meanwhile, the crypto market, which prior to Trump’s ambition was as volatile as a caffeinated squirrel, took a nosedive. Bitcoin, the poster child of digital gold, lost 15% of its sparkle, and the supporting cast-those lower-tier altcoins-were down a staggering 70 to 90 percent. Predictably, markets didn’t quite follow the script of what everyone hoped for, because markets are about as predictable as a toddler with a fiery paintbrush.
In a moment of curiosity bordering on boredom, we called upon Gemini, the AI with more confidence than a used car salesman, and asked it to pick which crypto would be king by the time Trump finally rides off into the sunset-or maybe just to the golf course. The answer? Well, it might be enough to make your eyebrows do a little dance.
A Speculative Conversation with the Machine
Prompted to choose between BTC, ETH, and XRP, Gemini played it cool-like a robot at a poker table. It said, and I quote:
If I had to speculate on highest percentage return between now and 2029, the answer is likely XRP.
In case you’re wondering, this was a surprise only if you’ve been living under a rock. It then explained that Bitcoin remains the “safest bet”-those words practically drip with reliability-while XRP is “the most aggressive,” which is a fancy way of saying “the one that takes the biggest swings and might just end up on the moon or in a landfill.”
Why the sudden optimism for XRP? Well, Gemini claims the Trump administration is actually dismantling the regulatory brick walls that kept XRP in the timeout corner. Apparently, the legal storm clouds over Ripple Labs are clearing, and US banks are now free to use XRP’s on-demand liquidity without feeling like they’re breaking federal law. Who knew legal battles could be so… temporary?
XRP has been artificially suppressed by legal uncertainty since 2020. With the lawsuit settled and US banks now legally clear to use XRP’s on-demand liquidity (ODL), it has the most “catch-up” growth to do.
But Wait, There’s More (And Less, According to the Rules)
While XRP seems to be gearing up for a comeback, Gemini isn’t ignoring the broader picture. Bitcoin, the original digital cowboy, has now become a national treasure of sorts, thanks to the Strategy Bitcoin Reserve established in 2025. Think of it as the government’s way of saying, “We trust you, Bitcoin, but only if you promise not to crash on our watch.”
It’s so important that Gemini calls Bitcoin the “King’s Guard” of portfolios-because nothing says ‘trust’ like government endorsement and institutional bagholders.
Meanwhile, Trump’s recent chatter about new crypto regulations is about as solid as a house of cards in a hurricane. The CLARITY Act, which he was probably going to sign, is now delayed because apparently, the Senate is too busy debating housing legislation- prioritizing real estate over digital currency, as always.
Regarding Ethereum, Gemini played it like a wise old sage: it’s the “tech and utility play”-the one that survives because of its usefulness, not its political backing. Like a software update that’s finally fixed the bugs, Ethereum’s future depends more on deregulation than executive order fanfare.
So there you have it-the future of crypto in a nutshell, or perhaps a nutcracker. Whether XRP soars, Bitcoin becomes the government’s digital mascot, or Ethereum continues its utility-driven reign, one thing’s for sure: the crypto rollercoaster is far from over, and kindly keep your arms inside the ride at all times.
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2026-01-22 12:06