Did Trump Just Make Bitcoin Richer Than Your Uncle? Discover the Wild Prediction!

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Out of habit, the price of Bitcoin—forever sulking, then suddenly up, then down again—has decided once more to claw its way up the garden wall. Why? Word in the drawing room is that Mr. Trump will sign a government spending bill of such girth even the bureaucrats at the Ministry of Money are applying medicinal vodka to their foreheads. Crypto Rover—who is spoken of in town with an air of suspicion reserved for card sharps and dentists—reminds us that, the last time Trump signed something equally enormous, Bitcoin performed a miraculous 38% leap. Could it happen again? Well, stranger things have happened in Ivan Ivanovich’s goat shed. 🐐

Somewhere in Washington: Paper, Ink, Hopes—And Bitcoin

Bitcoin’s flock of hopefuls hover about the news like rooks around a granary. President Trump—whose hair is almost as interesting as fiscal policy—looks poised to pick up his pen on July 4, holding forth “One Big Beautiful Bill” (tyrannical capitalization and all). Between tax cuts, defense spending, and debt ceiling hikes, everyone’s rattling the piggy-bank and wondering if inflation is about to become America’s newest folk hobby. Traditionally, that’s like ringing the dinner bell for Bitcoin—if you’re into that sort of thing. 🐖

Why the Crypto Faithful Are Sweating Through Their Shirts

Crypto Rover, who seems to sleep with one eye glued to the X app, muses that the last time Trump signed a similar bill, Bitcoin flew upwards like a startled pigeon—38% in a week, and not a feather out of place.

“Will Bitcoin pump again?” he asks, as if asking whether Lena will ever marry or why the samovar squeaks.

This isn’t just idle talk stirred up by the wind. There’s a pattern, apparently.

December 27, 2020: The Consolidated Appropriations Act gets Trump’s John Hancock. Bitcoin sits brooding at $26,491 with the air of one recently insulted. Twelve days later, it’s flirting with $40,574—a 54.4% rise you could spot from Vladivostok.

What’s Hidden in “One Big Beautiful Bill”? Besides Existential Dread

  • Permanent extension of Trump’s 2017 tax cuts—because the past is never truly dead, only on vacation.
  • $5 trillion debt ceiling hike—the bigger the number, the smaller the sense.
  • Lavish sums for defense and border security—one assumes there will be new uniforms and shinier binoculars.
  • Cuts to Medicaid, SNAP, and clean energy tax credits—those who need soup, warmth, or a solar panel, be advised.
  • Crowded eligibility gates for social programs—like musical chairs, but with fewer seats and more paperwork.

Democrats pressed ‘no’ with the energy of people swatting flies at a picnic: the bill meandered through the House on July 3, 2025, winning 218–214. Tomorrow, Trump gets out his favorite pen. It will be, as all things are nowadays, televised. 📺

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Bitcoin Price Prognosis: The Dream of 150,000 Dollar Coins

  • Last year: +89%—enough to make even old Makarov at the chess club raise a bushy eyebrow.
  • Past month: +3.1%—a gentle flutter, not quite a swan dive.
  • This week: +1.8%—slowly, cautiously, like a cat approaching sour cream.
  • Current Price: $109,057—better than rubles, at any rate.

If the fates (and hedge funds) smile kindly again, Bitcoin’s next stop, according to both speculative models and particularly excitable men on cable news, might well be $150,000. With government spending on parade, the dollar may soon feel lighter in the pocket—giving serious people with even grimmer faces a reason to eye Bitcoin hungrily. As ever, all depends on tomorrow: if Trump applies his signature, and the economic winds don’t reverse, expect a week of volatile rejoicing or, at very least, dramatic sighing in digital forums. Watch the ticker; buy more tea.

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Frequently Asked Questions (By Nervous Uncles and Nosy Neighbors)

What on earth is the “One Big Beautiful Bill” and why should I care?

This marvelously titled spending bill, predicted to be signed by President Trump on July 4, 2025, is a financial smorgasbord featuring tax cuts, a new debt ceiling plucked seemingly from thin air ($5 trillion!), extra funds for defense and border theatrics, and some fairly severe belt-tightening on social programs. Economists predict inflation. Bitcoin investors predict dollar pizzas for $20 again.

If Trump signs this bill, will Bitcoin ascend to the heavens?

If Bitcoin follows its previous act from 2020—when stimulus was handed out more generously than winter coats in Moscow—the price could shoot towards $150,000 over the coming week. At present, it bashfully hovers around $109,057, just waiting for someone to ring the dinner bell.

How has Bitcoin fared in this pre-bill excitement?

As of July 4, 2025, Bitcoin rallied: up 89% this year, up a modest 3.1% over the last month, and a tentative 1.8% in the last seven days. It now finds itself at $109,057—nervous, hopeful, and possibly considering a holiday abroad.

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2025-07-04 15:53