It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a billionaire in possession of both a social media account and too much time, must be in want of a new political party. Thus, in the light of a recent epistolary outpouring upon the platform known as X, Mr. Elon Musk—never subtle, rarely silent—proclaimed, “The America Party is the solution.” Within scant hours, a gentleman of Brazilian extraction (bearing the illustrious name of Renato Lima), inquired without ceremony whether this bright new faction would stoop to endorse the favoured delicacy of speculators everywhere: Bitcoin.
Musk Extols Bitcoin As The Cornerstone Of The America Party (Scandalous!) 🕵️♂️💰
Mr. Musk’s rejoinder arrived with characteristic delay—a most Austenian drama of anticipation—pronouncing, “Fiat is hopeless, so yes.” One almost imagines Mrs. Bennet swooning at such a pronouncement, whilst the decorous ladies of Meryton fan themselves and clutch their pearls. Nevertheless, this brief correspondence did not merely provide entertainment for idle crypto-gossips; rather, it embodied the convergence of two grand themes: Mr. Musk’s dramatic defection from President Trump’s prodigiously expensive “Big Beautiful Bill”, and his preference for BTC as an antidote to the ceaseless creation of banknotes, a habit as reckless as Lydia Bennet’s shopping.
Having formally announced the America Party on 5th July—on a platform renowned chiefly for combustive opinions about automobiles and space rockets—Mr. Musk declared with great aplomb that this party (with all the structure and gravity of a tea tray blown about in a high wind) could tip the political scales in Washington. Could this be an age of sensibility and spreadsheets?
In a display of participatory democracy that would shock even the most radical of Bath’s assembly rooms, Mr. Musk did poll 1.25 million X-users—likely with the same scientific rigour shown by Mr. Collins in his search for an accomplished wife. Sixty-five percent, with the reckless abandon of runaway carriages, clicked yes, proving that digital enthusiasm still exceeds the power of actual ballots.
Tesla accepted Bitcoin, then did not; it sold some, and retained, by current calculation, roughly 11,509 BTC—enough, surely, to upset the nerves of any sensible treasurer. Musk’s ventures, like his opinions, refuse steadfastly to remain within the expected boundaries; from rockets to roadsters, he shuns orthodoxy with a gusto that would alarm even dear Mr. Bennet.
Yet, as with so many ambitious undertakings, the details are, shall we say, a trifle vaporous. No platform, no officers, no fundraising committees—indeed, the America Party exists primarily as a collection of Mr. Musk’s musings and the desperate hopes of those who believe libertarian hashtags might, at last, be the stuff of government. Might regulation of crypto flourish as a wedge issue? Stranger things have happened—have they not, Mr. Darcy?
President Trump now faces a most inconvenient dilemma: as his half-hearted courtship of the technical classes falters, single-issue Bitcoin voters may discover in the America Party a new object for their fiscal affections. Should Mr. Musk select candidates for the 2026 season, the result may well be the siphoning of tech-infatuated voters from the Trumpian camp. Razor-thin districts, prepare to quiver.
As of this dispatch, dear Bitcoin sits at $109,086—and somewhere, no doubt, a sensible soul is clutching his ledger app and sighing profoundly. 🤑💸
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2025-07-07 11:23