Ether’s Plunge: $2K or Bust? 🤑💸

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Well, shucks, folks, it seems Ether’s got itself in a pickle-stuck in the mud while the big boys like Bitcoin and gold are off gallivanting to new heights. Bloomberg’s wiseacre, Mike McGlone, reckons it’s more likely to take a header to $2,000 than soar to $4,000. 🤠🤦‍♂️

Bloomberg’s Prophet of Doom Says Ether’s Goin’ South, Faster Than a Mississippi Steamboat 🚢💨

Old man McGlone, Bloomberg’s senior commodity strategist, took to the Twitter-sphere (or whatever they call it these days) to sound the alarm on Ether. He’s wagging his finger, saying it’s more likely to tumble toward $2,000 than climb to $4,000. Seems the poor thing’s been underperforming longer than a lazy hound dog on a porch. 🐕☀️

He declared, with all the gravitas of a riverboat captain:

Ether $2,000 or $4,000 Next? My bet’s on the downward spiral. By 2026, it’ll be six years of sittin’ still for the #2 crypto, while gold, equities, and Bitcoin are off dancin’ the fandango. 🎉💃

McGlone’s got a knack for contrastin’ Ether’s snooze fest with the wild parties Bitcoin, gold, and the big equity boys are throwin’. He reckons this stagnation’s got investors scratchin’ their heads and wonderin’ if Ether’s worth the trouble. 🤔💤

The man’s all about the long game, sayin’ markets got a way of givin’ the side-eye to assets that lag behind like a slow mule in a race. He’s not just lookin’ at Ether’s navel; he’s seein’ the big picture, cross-asset style. 🌍📈

Then he tosses in this little gem, like a firecracker on the Fourth of July:

What’ll happen to all them risk-assets when the U.S. stock market’s buried volatility pops back up? Just a matter of time, he says, with a wink and a nod. ⏳💥

McGlone’s been soundin’ the alarm on Ether before, back in ‘22 and ‘23, warnin’ of downside risks during tight liquidity and Ether’s weak-kneed performance against Bitcoin. Bloomberg’s research folks called Ether’s consolidation a structural snooze rather than a quick nap, blamin’ macro headwinds, leverage shenanigans, and market correlations gone wild. 🌪️💼

But hey, not everyone’s singin’ the doom and gloom tune. Standard Chartered’s Geoffrey Kendrick reckons scaling upgrades and institutional tokenization could give Ether a kick in the pants. Bernstein’s Gautam Chhugani says Ether’s the backbone of on-chain finance, tyin’ its worth to stablecoins and real-world asset growth. And Coinbase’s David Duong’s bettin’ on developer hustle, layer-two volumes, and fee improvements to save the day-if the crypto gods are smilin’. 🛠️🚀

FAQ ⏰

  • Why’s Bloomberg so down on Ether?
    Seems it’s been underperformin’ Bitcoin and macro assets longer than a sermon on Sunday, plus them macro risks ain’t helpin’. 🙄📉
  • What price points is McGlone jawin’ about?
    He’s sayin’ Ether’s more likely to hit $2,000 than $4,000 in this here cycle. 💸💨
  • How’s U.S. stock market volatility playin’ into this?
    If volatility rears its ugly head, McGlone says all risk-assets, Ether included, might feel the pinch. 🎢😬
  • Who’s still rootin’ for Ether in late 2025?
    Standard Chartered, Bernstein, and Coinbase Institutional are pointin’ to scaling, tokenization, and developer hustle as reasons to keep the faith. 🛠️🙏

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2025-12-30 00:58