Ethereum, that sly digital serpent, now slithers at $3,780 after a 6% nosedive in 24 hours and a week-long 13% freefall that would make a bear weep. Analysts, those modern-day prophets, squabble like drunken sailors-half claiming doom, half whispering of a phoenix rising from the ashes.
Charts, those sacred scrolls of the crypto oracle, scream contradictions. Some claim momentum’s shifting like a fickle lover, while others cheer a completed retest, as if Ethereum just aced a math test and is ready to party. 🎉
Analyst’s Wild Dream: $10K or a Pipe Dream?
Michaël van de Poppe, crypto’s version of a hopeful bard, insists Ethereum’s next move is a “new leg upward.” He claims the asset just finished a “key retest,” a fancy term for poking its nose at resistance levels. “In the coming days, maybe 1-2 weeks, a new leg on ETH starts,” he croons, ignoring the elephant in the room: the market’s appetite for sarcasm. 🐘
“In the coming days, maybe 1-2 weeks, a new leg on ETH starts.”
Van de Poppe’s vision? A $10,000 moonshot, if momentum builds like a toddler’s tower of blocks. Meanwhile, ETH/BTC clings to 0.033 BTC like a leech, now trading at 0.036 BTC. Traders call it an “ideal zone for buys”-read: a trap for the overly optimistic. 🎯
Volume? A sad trickle. But hey, a 44% rally from June to recent highs is just a warm-up for Ethereum’s next grand performance. Let’s hope the stage doesn’t collapse. 🎭
MACD’s Red Flag: A Bear’s Sneaky Signal
Meanwhile, the weekly MACD turns crimson, curling downward like a villain’s grin. Satoshi Stacker, that grumpy old sage, warns:
IF YOU HOLD $ETH YOU NEED TO SEE THIS!
ETH’s MACD has flipped red on the weekly timeframe. If this signal is confirmed at the weekly close, it historically leads into a pattern of a drop, a bounce, and then a further drop with losses ranging from -18% to -80%.
– Satoshi Stacker (@StackerSatoshi) October 17, 2025
Previous MACD bearish crossovers? They’ve turned investors into beggars. But until the weekly close confirms the carnage, traders sip coffee and wait-for the next punchline. ☕
ETH’s Tightrope Walk: $3.5K vs. $4.8K
Ali Martinez, crypto’s jester with a chart, asks: “What comes first for Ethereum $ETH: $3,500 or $4,800?” A break above $4,800 would be a hero’s leap; below $3,530? A descent into madness. 🌀
What comes first for Ethereum $ETH:
$3,500 or $4,800?
– Ali (@ali_charts) October 17, 2025
On-chain data? Over half of Ethereum’s supply is hoarded by ten non-exchange entities-custodians, staking pools, and long-term holders who treat volatility like a bedtime story. They’re immune to short-term chaos. Probably. 🛏️
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2025-10-17 18:34