Fed Subpoenas Tossed: Powell Dodges DOJ Shenanigans!

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Judge James E. Boasberg, with the precision of a cat avoiding puddles, nixed these subpoenas, declaring that a veritable “mountain of evidence” indicates their real intent is simply to “harass Powell into lowering rates or perhaps sending him to the naughty corner.” Jeanine Pirro, U.S. Attorney for Washington, D.C., fired back that the DOJ would appeal, turning this courtroom drama into something of a high-society duel.

Powell Escapes DOJ’s Subpoena Shenanigans

The DOJ, in a move analysts described as a poke in the eye to the Federal Reserve’s independence, found its efforts stymied by a federal judge who apparently had a penchant for fairness-or at least a fondness for keeping things amusingly orderly.

On Friday, Judge James Boasberg, chief judge of the U.S. District Court for Washington, D.C., quashed subpoenas aimed at uncovering Jerome Powell’s supposed misdeeds during a minor spree of Fed building renovations-hardly the sort of thing that would cause scandal, unless one has a taste for drama and a magnifying glass.

“A mountain of evidence suggests that the Government served these subpoenas on the Board to pressure its Chair into voting for lower interest rates or resigning,” Boasberg wrote, backing Powell’s earlier claim that the legal hoopla was as unnecessary as a monocle in a hurricane.

Powell, ever the picture of calm, had pointed out that the legal threats were merely the consequence of the Fed setting interest rates based on sensible judgment rather than presidential whims-a concept as refreshing as a cucumber sandwich on a summer’s day.

“On the other side of the scale, the Government has produced essentially zero evidence to suspect Chair Powell of a crime; indeed, its justifications are so thin that the Court can only conclude they are pretextual,” Boasberg concluded, perhaps imagining a thin soup of accusations being ladled over Powell’s head.

“The process should have been allowed to run its course, and it wasn’t,” declared Jeanine Pirro, U.S. Attorney for Washington, D.C., in tones of mock indignation. “Jerome Powell now enjoys the sweet bath of immunity. Scandalous!” she added, vowing to appeal.

The kerfuffle over Powell could slow Kevin Warsh’s nomination as Fed Chair, with Senator Thom Tillis threatening to hold things hostage until the dust settles.

“We all know how this ends, really,” he tweeted, with the subtlety of a dinner gong. “Appealing will merely prolong the agony of Warsh’s confirmation-best save everyone further embarrassment.”

FAQ

  • What legal misadventure befell the Federal Reserve?
    A DOJ probe tried to stir the pot but was politely shown the door by a federal judge.

  • Who had the good sense to block the subpoenas?
    Judge James Boasberg of the U.S. District Court for Washington, D.C., who apparently fancies himself a guardian against frivolous legal spats.

  • What did the judge make of the government’s evidence?
    He deemed it thinner than a debutante’s patience at a tedious ball, labeling it pretextual.

  • Could this impact Kevin Warsh’s Fed Chair nomination?
    Yes, Senator Tillis hinted he might play the part of a meddlesome chaperone until the legal dust settles.

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2026-03-14 14:57