In a week marked by monumental gestures and even grander delusions, certain corporations have decided that owning Bitcoin is the only way to ensure their coffee breaks are laced with existential dread. K Wave Media, never one to let common sense thwart a good drama, intends to buy 88 BTC—presumably because 89 would look greedy—throwing around hundreds of millions, while DDC and Animoca, not wanting to be left out of the imminent regret, are flinging $100 million at the digital abyss. 🤑
Ethereum is getting love letters too, as various corporate suitors spent millions last night hoping to win its digital hand. Yet, like a bashful debutante at a Victorian ball, Bitcoin remains the true object of institutional obsession—everyone’s favorite electrified lightning rod for capital and calamity. ⚡
Bitcoin’s All-Time High: The Champagne Was Still Chilled, the Regret Already Lukewarm
There’s a new sport among the wealthy: hoarding untouchable coins. Corporations the world over are now romancing BTC stockpiles with all the subtlety of a peacock on a first date. Last week, more companies joined this feverish pursuit, swelling their Bitcoin balances and their egos alike.
K Wave Media—a South Korean firm whose ambition is only rivaled by its appetite—revealed it aims to possess 88 bitcoins:
“We believe that this financing structure positions us to execute one of the most ambitious corporate Bitcoin accumulation strategies in the world. Our objective is clear: to scale our holdings toward 10,000 bitcoins as soon as possible while maintaining strong investor alignment and full transparency,” declared CEO Ted Kim, possibly while petting a white cat. 🐈⬛
With Bitcoin’s price strutting at an all-time high, K Wave is building a digital war chest and has coaxed Anson Funds, a financier with an apparent taste for spectacle, to bankroll up to $500 million. At least 80% of this will be dedicated to BTC—$1 billion is not out of the question should reality continue to be an optional extra.
DDC Enterprise, unable to resist the siren song, is doubling down and has partnered with Animoca Brands for a $100 million investment in DDC’s ever-growing stash. Animoca, who have diversified in every direction but common sense, will manage these investments and, one assumes, throw the occasional disco ball into the risk assessment process.
While Bitcoin is the prom queen, some are betting on the class clown. Solana boasts its own digital whales; fresh dispatches reveal large ETH transactions—seven in total—totaling $358 million. Several came from corporations eager to ensure their accountants never sleep again:
Ethereum has leaped above $2,800!
In the past 24 hours, seven whales/institutions have bought 127,971 ETH ($358M).
A newly formed wallet, as mysterious as Wilde’s lost cigarette case, withdrew 54,125 ETH ($151M) from Kraken in just 16 hours.
Abraxas Capital tiptoed away with 40,986 ETH ($114M)…
— Lookonchain (@lookonchain) July 10, 2025
Naturally, some of these transactions emanate from entities too anonymous to reprimand, and one, in a nod to the classics, seems attached to yesterday’s GMX hack and a generous helping of money laundering. It seems digital treasuries are less about stewardship and more about plausible deniability.
All this coin-hoarding has some whispering “bubble.” Can this mania last? Some companies have already outperformed the assets they’re stockpiling, possibly meaning the only thing more inflated than Bitcoin’s price is their self-esteem. If history has taught us anything, it’s that comedic tragedies don’t end at the second act. 🎭
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2025-07-10 20:21