French banking giant BPCE to launch in-app crypto trading: Report

Oh. My. God. Apparently, BPCE, this massive French bank, is actually doing something slightly…modern. Like, actually letting its customers buy Bitcoin and Ether inside their banking app. Seriously. I mean, I’ve spent years expertly avoiding understanding cryptocurrency, and now it\’s appearing on my banking app? 😩 It’s like suddenly your grandmother started talking about NFTs. It feels…wrong. But also, potentially lucrative?

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According to “The Big Whale” – which sounds like a slightly terrifying dating profile, frankly – you’ll soon be able to trade Bitcoin (BTC), Ether (ETH), Solana (SOL) and USDC (USDC) directly through Banque Populaire and Caisse d’Épargne apps. Starting Monday. MONDAY! As if Mondays weren’t bad enough already.

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They\’re starting with a cool 2 million customers, which feels…quite a lot of people trusting a bank with their digital funny money. Then, by 2026, they want to roll it out to ALL 12 million. It\’s all very…ambitious. An insider apparently said the phased rollout is to “monitor performance.” Which is bank-speak for “panic if everything crashes.” 🙄

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BPCE rolls out paid in-app crypto accounts

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So, there’s a catch, naturally. It’s not like banks do anything for free. You have to pay €2.99 a month (that\’s about $3.48, for those of us clinging to the illusion of currency stability) AND 1.5% commission per trade, plus a minimum of $1.16. Basically, they\’re taking a cut of your future Lambo fund. 🚗 Still, better than using some dodgy exchange, I suppose. Although where is the fun in that?

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Apparently, this is all down to competition. Revolut, Deblock, Bitstack and Trade Republic are all offering this stuff, and BPCE doesn’t want to be left looking like a dinosaur. Seriously, the pressure. They\’re all desperate to seem…relevant. It\’s exhausting just watching. BBVA, Santander and Raiffeisen Bank are at it too. Is this the future? I need a lie down.

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I messaged them, asking what was going on, but predictably, they haven\’t got back to me. Typical. Too busy counting their future profits.

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France to tax crypto as “unproductive wealth”

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And just when you thought things couldn’t get more complicated, France has decided to tax cryptocurrency as “unproductive wealth.” Because sitting on a pile of Bitcoin isn’t…productive enough for them? 😒 So if you have over $2.3 million worth of “unproductive” stuff (like, I don\’t know, a yacht and a reasonable amount of Ether) you\’ll be hit with a 1% tax. Apparently, the Senate still needs to approve it. I mean, honestly, if you have $2.3 million in unproductive wealth, a 1% tax probably isn\’t keeping you up at night, is it?

French Bank Goes Crypto?! 🤯French Bank Goes Crypto?! 🤯

Oh. My. God. Apparently, BPCE, this massive French bank, is actually doing something slightly…modern. Like, actually letting its customers buy Bitcoin and Ether inside their banking app. Seriously. I mean, I’ve spent years expertly avoiding understanding cryptocurrency, and now it’s appearing on my banking app? 😩 It’s like suddenly your grandmother started talking about NFTs. It feels…wrong. But also, potentially lucrative?

They’re starting with a cool 2 million customers, which feels…quite a lot of people trusting a bank with their digital funny money. Then, by 2026, they want to roll it out to ALL 12 million. It’s all very…ambitious. An insider apparently said the phased rollout is to “monitor performance.” Which is bank-speak for “panic if everything crashes.” 🙄

BPCE rolls out paid in-app crypto accounts

So, there’s a catch, naturally. It’s not like banks do anything for free. You have to pay €2.99 a month (that’s about $3.48, for those of us clinging to the illusion of currency stability) AND 1.5% commission per trade, plus a minimum of $1.16. Basically, they’re taking a cut of your future Lambo fund. 🚗 Still, better than using some dodgy exchange, I suppose. Although where is the fun in that?

Apparently, this is all down to competition. Revolut, Deblock, Bitstack and Trade Republic are all offering this stuff, and BPCE doesn’t want to be left looking like a dinosaur. Seriously, the pressure. They’re all desperate to seem…relevant. It’s exhausting just watching. BBVA, Santander and Raiffeisen Bank are at it too. Is this the future? I need a lie down.

I messaged them, asking what was going on, but predictably, they haven’t got back to me. Typical. Too busy counting their future profits.

France to tax crypto as “unproductive wealth”

And just when you thought things couldn’t get more complicated, France has decided to tax cryptocurrency as “unproductive wealth.” Because sitting on a pile of Bitcoin isn’t…productive enough for them? 😒 So if you have over $2.3 million worth of “unproductive” stuff (like, I don’t know, a yacht and a reasonable amount of Ether) you’ll be hit with a 1% tax. Apparently, the Senate still needs to approve it. I mean, honestly, if you have $2.3 million in unproductive wealth, a 1% tax probably isn’t keeping you up at night, is it?

2025-12-07 12:19

BPCE rolls out paid in-app crypto accounts

France to tax crypto as “unproductive wealth”

BPCE rolls out paid in-app crypto accounts

France to tax crypto as “unproductive wealth”

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