Gaming Corp Swings Pickaxe at Bitcoin—Will It Strike Gold or Just Hit the Lights?

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Stop the presses (or at least, pause the download): a major gaming company has suddenly shape-shifted into… a hardcore Bitcoin miner. Yes, apparently owning digital swords is out, mining actual coins with 3.11 EH/s computing power is in. Their shiny new hardware is supposed to spit out about 60 BTC every month. Cue calculator noises: that’s $6.5 million—before they have to pay the bills for electricity, servers, and, I don’t know, probably a warehouse freezer to keep the CPUs from melting into slag. 🍳💸

To wrangle all this, the company (known as NIP, now standing for “Not Into Pac-Man”) has whipped up a “Digital Computing Division.” Very official, not at all invented over an emergency pizza lunch, and definitely not a name someone’s cat typed during a Zoom meeting. The team’s also tasked with ‘strategic expansion into future crypto ventures,’ which sounds like the business equivalent of “let’s see what happens if we press this big red button.”

Co-founder Hicham Chahine insists this journey began after the company went public last year, when they realized just “gaming” was so last century. Now, it’s all about building “real computing value in the digital era,” which is a dazzling way to say “we’re in too deep to turn back now.”

Unfortunately, the stock market greeted this news with all the enthusiasm of being told the office coffee machine is broken—shares dropped 17%. That’s on top of a spectacular 88% nosedive since last year’s peak. Oops. 📉 One could call that bold; others might say it’s free-falling with style.

If this all sounds a bit familiar, it’s because MicroStrategy did this whole “let’s bet the farm on Bitcoin” vaudeville act first. But mining isn’t for the faint of heart, or the light of wallet—analysts are already clutching pearls at just how volatile and pricey it can get. Even the most diamond-handed holders need nerves of steel (and possibly a side gig).

Still, NIP swears this isn’t simply about mining coins. It’s about mining relevance (and praying it’s the kind you can convert back to cash). In the rapidly whirling merry-go-round that is the digital economy, who among us isn’t hoping their next big pivot leads to gold, not just more game overs?

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2025-07-04 23:28