In the mysterious land of high finance, where the gods of Wall Street dwell and the shadows of uncertainty lurk, there has arisen a great stir-a man named Kevin Hassett, struttin’ ahead in the frantic race to seize the throne of the Holy Fed. Our dear crypto compatriots, pale with anticipation, watch every move with bated breath and trembling fingers. Ah, the drama! One cannot help but wonder whether he dreams of rate cuts or just the sweet taste of power. 🎭
Hassett-a Man of the Hour, or Simply the Latest Fool’s Gold? Trump Watches His Step
News, whispers, rumors-oh! the frenzy! It appears that Kevin Hassett, with all the seriousness of a city official marking his place in the town square, leads the pack of hopefuls vying for the mighty helm of the Fed. Considered a favorite by none other than the mighty Donald himself-who, in his infinite wisdom, prefers rates to plummet faster than a meteor-Hassett wobbles on the gossip-stage amid rivals like Kevin Warsh and the enigmatic Rick Rieder. They say he would slash rates “right now,” a notion daring enough to turn the markets into dancing jesters. The odds? About 55%. Half the town believes, half doubts-such is politics in the land of dollar and dreams. 🎩
Crypto and Conflicts-Or Just the Bard’s Good Fortune?
Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to hold Coinbase stocks-more than a million, no less! Hassett, a man who once chaired the White House’s digital asset guild, is now the center of much rumor and speculation. Did he craft policies favoring Bitcoin? Did he secretly dance with the crypto devil? Questions abound-conflicts or clever chess moves? The industry, like a drunken poet, sees in this a bullish omen, a shepherd guiding the digital flock into greener pastures. Juan Leon, a wise soothsayer of markets, believes Hassett’s hand would favor the crypto cause-perhaps because he’s one of them, or perhaps because he simply likes shiny things. Who can say? 🎲
Meanwhile, the markets, ever the merry jesters, brace for what might be a revolution-or merely another circus act. If Hassett claims the throne, the Federal Reserve might embrace a new era of crypto-loving vigor, where digital coins dance freely under the moonlight. Or so the tale goes. The grand announcement, like a carrot on a stick, is promised before Christmas-so hold on tight, for the story is only just beginning. 🎅
Cover image from ChatGPT, BTCUSD chart from Tradingview
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2025-11-26 21:13