How the Rich Play Monopoly: $4.2B IPO & Ethereum Dreams 🚀💸

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Imagine, if you will, a crypto exchange – the envy of Wall Street and the bane of regulators – backed by none other than Peter Thiel himself, strutting boldly into the IPO runway with a sum that rivals the GDP of some nations: a staggering $4.2 billion! One might think they’re simply trying to turn digital coins into the new gold standard, but no, dear reader, they are merely investing in US-dollar-backed stablecoins, because who doesn’t need a little stability in this chaotic carnival? 🎢

Reuters whispers this daring plan: Bullish, the illustrious name of this spectacle, aims for a valuation of over four billion dollars, eyeing a treasure chest of $629 million from its 20.3 million shares, priced tantalizingly between $28 and $31. Ah, the sweet scent of excess! 💰

Meanwhile, in a universe where billionaires dream bigger than their wallets, Thiel’s other darling firm, BitMine, has amassed over $3 billion worth of Ethereum—‘the second-largest crypto by market cap,’ as if the mere mention of numbers could appease the gods of finance. Now, with grand ambitions to stake 5% of all ETH, BitMine aims to be the Ethereum’s MicroStrategy—because why not? 🤔

Fundstrat’s own Tom Lee declares with the gravity of a fortune-teller: BitMine is well on its way to staking one-twentieth of Ethereum, dreaming of a ‘Wall Street put’ for ETH treasuries. So, imagine, dear reader, a future where Ethereum holdings are as omnipresent as your favorite scandal—because if billionaires have their way, we’re all just pawns in this game of digital chess. 🧩

“Among Bitcoin treasury companies, we have witnessed the reflexive benefit of acquiring large holdings… Such sizable holdings have created a ‘sovereign put’ for the company, meaning a nation-state views MSTR holdings as attractive if a nation ever wanted to acquire 5% of the Bitcoin network. Similarly, ETH Treasuries, which accumulate 5% of ETH supply, can benefit from a similar ‘Wall Street put.’”

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2025-08-04 23:01