Iran’s Internet Dies – And Bitcoin Just Shrugged 😏

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Oh, what a time to be alive! 🎭 As the smoke rises and the streets of Tehran echo with chants, the internet in Iran has gone full ghost mode – and Bitcoin miners are playing hide-and-seek with their rigs.

Will the blockchain tremble? Will whales weep? Will ASICs cry out for justice? Hardly. The network rolls on, indifferent as a drunk poet at dawn. But behind this digital curtain, a truth flickers like a dying bulb in a basement mine: Bitcoin mining isn’t some angelic, ethereal force – it’s sweaty men, cheap electricity, and endless ping delays. 🌍⚡

Iran’s Mining Hopes Are on Life Support (And It’s Not the First Time)

The government, bless their paranoid hearts, has yanked the internet plug again. Mobile networks? Gone. Data? A fairy tale. The people protest, the junta panics, and once again, the digital dreamers of Bitcoin mining are left in the dark – literally. 📵🌑

Is this a political drama? Absolutely. But let’s not pretend it’s not also an economic soap opera. Iran, once the black-market prom queen of Bitcoin mining, still quietly hums with a few thousand ASICs churning in basements like rebellious washing machines. They don’t dominate anymore – their share of global hashrate is now merely a “low-single-digit percentage.” (Yes, bankers, that’s finance-speak for “not irrelevant, but also not important.”) 💸📉

You can mine 1 Bitcoin in Iran for $1,300 and sell it for $108,000.

Is Iran nice this time of year? 🤔

– Bitcoin Archive (@BitcoinArchive) October 19, 2025

Why Iran? Oh, just the usual romance: absurdly cheap, state-subsidized power, a government that both hates and uses crypto, and a legal framework as solid as wet paper. Sanctions pushed mining underground, where it thrives like mushrooms in a forgotten cellar. Most operations? Semi-legal. All of them? Running on hope, diesel, and duct tape. 🔧💡

Is Iran critical to Bitcoin’s survival? Please. 🙄 Even if every Iranian miner dropped dead mid-click, the network wouldn’t sneeze. Bitcoin survived when China said “no more” and kicked out 40% of the hashrate in 2021. Iran’s entire operation is less than a hiccup in that memory.

Can You Mine Bitcoin Without the Internet?

Ah, the eternal question! Like asking if a poet can write without wine. 🍷❓

Short answer: Yes… sort of. Miners don’t need high-speed Netflix streams. They need power and a shaky connection to the pool. Think of it like sending smoke signals to a mountain of code.

Blocks come every ten minutes – plenty of time for data to crawl across a dying modem. But when the internet plays hard to get, problems creep in:

  • Pool coordination? Looks like a blindfolded chess match. 🎱
  • Firmware updates? Ha! Don’t make me laugh.
  • Payouts delayed? Your wallet cries in silence. 💔
  • Smaller miners? They might as well pack up and sell their ASICs as garden heaters. 🔥

In short: mining stumbles, doesn’t collapse. It’s less “apocalypse” and more “annoying Tuesday.”

Even if the blackout lasts a month, Bitcoin will yawn, adjust its difficulty like a lazy giant, and keep going. The network is designed to survive idiots, dictators, and even bad ISPs.

Venezuela isn’t about oil. It’s about critical minerals and territory where China, Iran and Russia operate simultaneously.

Another sign the post-1971 fiat system is dead.

The world is moving back to real things with real constraints. We’ll all need real money. Buy bitcoin.

– Jack Mallers (@jackmallers) January 7, 2026

So… Is This Bad or Good for Bitcoin?

Yes. And also no. 😂

The beautiful chaos of geopolitics once again proves Bitcoin’s thesis: no one can kill it. Shut down Iran? Hashpower moves to Texas. Kill the power in Venezuela? Miners in Wyoming laugh and plug in another rig. The network doesn’t care about borders – only hashes.

But let’s not get sentimental. ⚖️ The truth is awkward: Bitcoin still clings to cheap energy, and cheap energy clings to unstable regimes. Dictators love power – both electrical and political. And so the cycle continues: protest, blackout, crackdown, mining exodus. Rinse, repeat.

The real narrative isn’t “Iran collapses, Bitcoin wins.” Nah. It’s: “The world keeps rearranging, and miners follow the juice.” Slowly but surely, hashpower is fleeing the shadows and settling in places with rule of law, surplus hydro, and functioning airports. Iran’s moment has passed. Its mining glory? A fading photograph in a dusty album. 📸

This blackout? It won’t crash Bitcoin. But it does whisper a warning: energy policy is fate. Geopolitics is destiny. And if your mining operation depends on a government that fears its own people… maybe consider switching to solar. Or poetry. 🌞📜

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2026-01-09 04:08