Madness in Montreal: 80k SOLs & a $320 Mirage 🐒💸

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Behold, SOL Strategies Inc. (NASDAQ: STKE), a Canadian investment enterprise whose sole ambition is to hoard Solana (SOL) like a squirrel with a vendetta against winter, has just concluded an “upsized” private placement. With the grand sum of C$30 million raised by peddling 4.4 million shares at C$6.85 apiece, one might think they’ve discovered a goldmine… or merely learned to spell “confetti” with cash.

With these newfound riches, the company shall fortify its Solana treasury, as if the coin were a rare spice and not a digital asset. Interim CEO Michael Hubbard, a man whose interim status may soon become permanent, declared the funds will purchase 80k SOLs. These will then be delegated to validators, who shall earn passive staking rewards-because who doesn’t want to nap while their coins multiply? 😴💰

The Solana Circus: Treasuries Galore!

Institutional investors, those modern-day alchemists, have grown obsessed with Solana, hoarding 13.5 million coins worth $2.9 billion. CoinGecko, the oracle of crypto, reports nine entities from three countries now play this treasure hunt-perhaps to outwit the taxman or simply because they enjoy the thrill of owning things no one understands. 🎩

Forward Industries, a titan in this Solana spectacle, holds 6.8 million SOLs ($1.6 billion). Others, like DeFi Development and BIT Mining, chase the same dream: to be the richest in a room full of broke dreamers. Meanwhile, VisionSys AI from Beijing plans to spend $2 billion on Solana, starting with $500 million. One wonders if they’ll use the remaining $1.5 billion to buy a yacht shaped like a blockchain. 🛥️

The SOL Price Prophecy: A Comedy of Errors

Solana’s price rose 7% on Wednesday, briefly flirting with $220. Analysts, those modern-day prophets, now whisper of a parabolic rally. With a fully diluted valuation of $134 billion, one might say Solana is poised to break the laws of physics-or at least the laws of basic arithmetic. 🧮

With the bullish retest complete, Solana $SOL could now be ready for $320-$360.

– Ali (@ali_charts) October 1, 2025

Crypto analyst Ali Martinez, who may or may not be a sock puppet for a hedge fund, insists SOL is primed to hit a new all-time high. After rebounding from $205, he claims the coin is “well primed”-a phrase that sounds suspiciously like a recipe for disaster. But hey, who are we to question a man with charts and a Twitter handle? 📊

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2025-10-02 00:18