Well now, have you heard the latest about the folks over at the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission? Seems they’ve taken to cheerleading for these newfangled digital coins—they call ’em Bitcoin and the like—like a bunch of schoolboys at a county fair Carnival. The head honcho, one Paul Atkins, was out yonder yapping about how these shiny bits of electronic paper might just be the future of money. Imagine that! A government official playing favorites with something more mysterious than a moonshine still in a crawlspace.
Paul Atkins Outdoes a Candy Vendor with Promises of “Bullish” Crypto Craze
In a sit-down with CNBC, Mr. Atkins declared that Trump’s signing of the GENIUS Act—what in Sam Hill that is—was just the sort of turning point the crypto-crowd had been waiting for. Said it was a big ol’ “watershed” moment. Said stablecoins, which are just digital hot potatoes, might be mighty important for lowering costs and easing market jitters. Sounds about as stable as a house of cards in a hurricane, but hey, what do I know?
The big boss also mentioned that his gang’s main concern is still Bitcoin and friends—more like a dog worrying the burglar, rather than a watchdog. Still, he assured everyone that they was keen on making sure these crypto laws go down smooth as molasses in January. He even hinted that they might take some additional steps to help companies that deal in stablecoins settle their affairs—probably so they can buy more Bitcoin or Ethereum without calling in the cavalry.
Now here’s a real whopper—our friend Mr. Atkins himself claimed that Ethereum, that blockchain darling, isn’t “a security” just like Bitcoin. Can you imagine? Looks like the SEC didn’t get the memo that both are as volatile as a barn dance in a tornado. Atkins also hinted that many other digital tokens are just as free as air—no securities, no troubles, just a bunch of fancy code floating around.
While some companies are suckering to mimic the genius of a fellow named Michael Saylor—buying Bitcoin in their sleep—others are hopping onto Ethereum like bees to a honey pot. Our SEC friend says he ain’t one to tell folks what to buy, but he’s pleased as punch to see these digital assets getting some attention. Says it’s a fine foundation for future money-making schemes and inventions in the sector. Looks like the old rules are getting a new coat of paint—just don’t ask if they’ll hold water in a rainstorm.
The GENIUS Act—Ethereum’s New Best Friend?
Over yonder, Andrew Keys, who’s a bigwig at Ether Machine, was also on CNBC, fussing about the GENIUS Act. Said Ethereum is the big winner—kind of like a prize ox at the county fair. Most stablecoins are issued on its platform, so when the law gets enforced, Ethereum might just bloom like a spring garden. Seems that 90% of all those fancy tokenized assets and stablecoins are hanging out on Ethereum—more than a barn full of cattle, if you ask me. Ether Machine is planning to run on the Nasdaq—like a real stock, I suppose—and expect to rake in over $1.6 million. Their plan? Start with 400,000 ETH sitting pretty—probably enough to buy a small country—or at least a good chunk of one.
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2025-07-22 23:12