Ah, New Zealand: the land of breathtaking landscapes and now, unexpected legislative myopia! In the latest bout of regulatory whimsicality, the fair nation has decreed a blanket ban on all crypto ATMs, ostensibly to combat the villainous scourge of cryptocurrency-related crimes. 🕵️♂️ Quite the Herculean endeavor, one might cheekily assert!
Enter stage left: Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee, resplendent in her armor of reform, who unveiled these majestic edicts on a delightful June morning. She promised to zero in on the criminal cabals without burdening those earnest souls merely wishing to conduct business in a world where money flows like fine wine. 🍷 Bravo!
“We desire New Zealand to be the very epitome of ease for legitimate enterprises whilst presenting an insurmountable challenge for malefactors!” she proclaimed—with the fervor of a melodramatic heroine! 🎭
221 ATMs in New Zealand to Go Offline
Alas! A mere 221 crypto ATMs will now be rendered as useful as a chocolate teapot, succumbing to the authoritarian embrace of legislation that aims to empower the police and regulators with newfound might! The Financial Intelligence Unit shall now wield greater authority, like a child wielding a glitter pen: “Just look at all the financial data we can gather!” ✨
The New Zealand government has triumphantly announced a nationwide ban on cryptocurrency ATMs and imposed a $5,000 cap on international cash transfers, all as part of its freshly minted anti-money laundering (AML) reforms to battle the nefarious tides of illicit financial flows.
— Wu Blockchain (@WuBlockchain) July 9, 2025
Thence comes the revelation of a Ministerial Advisory Group’s report on organized crime, which depicts crypto ATMs as an undesirable form of financial expressway for wayward rogues seeking to relocate their ill-gotten gains to distant shores. 🚤
Astonishingly, there exists a flourishing nation of 221 crypto ATMs! But fret not: these machines shall soon face the digital guillotine as the regulators don their finest capes to plug the nefarious loopholes left ajar for ill-doers.
A Global Trend of Caution
Across the vast ocean, one might add, Spokane, Washington—once a charming locale now drenched in regulatory drama—has become the first city in its state to ban virtual currency kiosks following a momentous unanimous vote. All 50 crypto ATMs are on notice to evacuate the premises within a mere 60 days, all thanks to a surge of scams that preyed upon the unsuspecting and vulnerably naive. 🏃♂️💨
Crypto ATMs, it seems, now serve as the favored instrument of deceit! Council Member Paul Dillon declared, with a sage nod: “These automated jesters have become quite the tool for con artists.” How delightfully ironic! 🙃
It appears that the crypto-chains of tyranny have begun to tighten in Australia as well; AUSTRAC warned ATM operators to comply, after unveiling dubious patterns of fraud that could leave even the staunchest libertarian scratching their head. 🧐
And let us not forget our neighbors across the European pond, where Austria’s esteemed Kurant has halted services in Germany as it awaits the bureaucratic embrace of the charmingly complex Markets in Crypto Assets (MiCA) regulation. Over half of Kurant’s trove of 300+ machines have now become mere shadows of their former selves.
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2025-07-09 17:32