AAVE Soars, Whales Feast: Exchange Supply Drops Faster Than Your Diet Resolve

As the sun lolled indolently on July 6, Aave (AAVE) found itself among the peculiar, the proud, trading hands at $272—a figure inflating 140% since its April doldrums, when the price did its best impersonation of a bored sloth. Market capitalization has accordingly ballooned to $4.1 billion, as daily trading volume frolics north of $250 million, presumably scaring the ghosts out of everyone’s portfolio.

Crypto’s Golden Ticket 🎟️

This marvel, you ask, what hath brought it about? Why, ’tis the unveiling of a most ingenious Golden Visa program, a partnership between The Open Network and the United Arab Emirates, that bastion of progress and innovation in the desert! 🏜️

Crypto Chaos in India: Bybit Brings the Hammer Down 🤯

As if the GST weren’t enough, Bybit hath also announced the discontinuation of select services, including legacy crypto loans, the Bybit card, and multiple trading bots. Cardholders, take heed! Thou shalt be blocked from new transactions by July 17, and outstanding loans shall be auto-repaid. 🚫

Bitcoin’s Trillion-Dollar Secret 🤑

Now, I know what you’re thinkin’: what in tarnation is an “unrealized profit”? Well, it’s like this: it’s the profit you’d make if you sold your Bitcoin right now, but you haven’t sold it yet, so it’s still just a bunch of numbers on a screen. Make sense? 🤔

Euro vs. Crypto: Can The Old Lady Outrun The Dollar’s Digital Tsunami?

According to rather dramatic research, a staggering 99.8% of stablecoins swirling around European cyberspace are locked arm-in-arm with the greenback. Meanwhile, the euro sulks in the wings, robbed of its rightful stage, as America’s payment systems throw a Gatsby-level party in European finance. The ECB is not amused. Nor is your aunt who still keeps euros in her mattress.

Bitcoin’s Panic Button Malfunctioning

Ted Pillows, a market analyst with a name that sounds suspiciously like a pseudonym, has weighed in on the situation. He claims that historical data shows Bitcoin is yet to reach its peak price for the current market cycle. Because, you know, past performance is always a guarantee of future results… said no one ever. 🙄