Apparently, six weeks of “spot ETF inflows” isn’t enough to make a difference. Which, frankly, feels a bit rude. You’d think financial institutions throwing money at it would at least cause a small ripple. But no. It’s just…stuck. Like me on a Monday morning. 🙄
And lo! The Spot Trading Bots-those tireless, soulless automatons-shall grind to a halt for these pairs. A moment of silence, please. 🕯️ (Or better yet, update your bots, you fools, lest they weep binary tears onto your portfolios.) Fear not, though! The tokens themselves still skulk about in other pairs, like alley cats dodging the boot. Trade them while you can… before Binance changes its mind again. 😼
The United States unemployment rate climbed to 4.6% in November, marking its highest point since September 2021. Analysts suggest this uptick is due to October’s government-related chaos and the labor market’s ongoing identity crisis.
Sentiment? Oh, it’s decisively bearish. Fear and apathy are now the charming duets serenading trader wallets. Volatility? Shrunk like my patience on a Monday morning. Participation? Thinner than my grandmother’s patience with her wayward grandson. Analysts are whispering ominous prophecies-“Prolonged bear market into 2026,” they say, as if always predicting the worst was some sort of market sport. 🥱
But oh, sweet summer child, the real drama is all about Ripple and XRP. The Act’s got this fancy rulebook-20% supply concentration, anyone?-to decide if XRP is a “mature” blockchain or just a toddler in crypto diapers. Spoiler: Ripple’s holding 40% of XRP like a grumpy squirrel with a hoard of acorns. 🐿️
SRx Health Solutions, a Canadian outfit known for keeping Fido healthy, has decided its future lies not in flea collars but in blockchain. In a move that screams, “Why not both?” they’re acquiring Jackson’s EMJ Crypto Technologies. Because nothing says “pet health” like a side of Bitcoin. 🐶➔₿
Lo, the market, that fickle mistress, doth whisper of quantum perils, yet Saylor, ever the optimist, proclaims that the network shall upgrade, the coins shall migrate, and the lost shall remain frozen, as if in a slumber of eternal rest. Thus, security shall ascend, and supply shall dwindle, like a candle in the wind. 🔥
Technically speaking, LINK has found its little cozy spot at $13.20-$13.30, which apparently is a “key zone of support.” It’s like a favorite chair at a diner-everyone’s trying to sit there, and when they do, prices respond positively. Who knew demand could be so picky? 🍽️
The FDIC’s notice of proposed rulemaking, approved by the agency’s board on December 16, lays out a formal application process for FDIC-supervised banks seeking to issue payment stablecoins through subsidiaries. The proposal implements Section 5 of the Guiding and Establishing National Innovation for U.S. Stablecoins Act, or GENIUS Act, and effectively draws the regulatory map for how insured banks enter the stablecoin business. 🧠
Enter Zach Humphries, the crypto market’s resident buzzkill, who’s here to pop the overinflated XRP balloon. 🎈 In a video that’s more sobering than a Monday morning, he dismantled the $100 price prediction with the precision of a surgeon removing a particularly stubborn myth. According to him, claiming XRP will hit $100 by 2025 is like saying you’ll win the lottery by buying a single ticket. Sure, Jan. 🙄
