Pour yourself a coffee (or vodka, no judgment here), for the grandees of finance have once again stumbled into the crypto circus. JPMorgan, that bastion of old money, has decided to play with the Ethereum kids, launching a tokenized money market fund. Is this a genuine leap into the future, or merely a wealthy man’s midlife crisis? 🤔
So, old sport, Juventus’ fan token (JUV) took a bit of a tumble, sliding more than 13% from its Sunday peak after Tether’s €1.1 billion ($1.3 billion) takeover bid was given the cold shoulder. Rather like being left at the altar, what? 💍❌
Despite the price meandering aimlessly, the narrative surrounding XRP’s ETF is swelling like a balloon at a child’s birthday party. According to the most recent data, the net assets tucked away in U.S. XRP spot ETFs have reached the eye-popping figure of $1.18 billion, equating to a hefty 0.98% of XRP’s total market capitalization. Who knew that a piece of paper could be so powerful?
The fellas who study these things – market analysts, they call ’em – aren’t sayin’ nobody wants XRP. They’re sayin’ it’s just…complicated. Like tryin’ to explain a tractor to a city slicker.
₿ack to More Orange Dots.
Oh, dear! To observe XRP’s on-chain payment volume dwindling to realms approaching absolute zero is, at first blush, rather distressing. But as any seasoned observer of the human comedy-or, indeed, the cryptocurrency caper-knows, appearances are invariably deceptive. It isn\’t the headline that matters, darling, but the exquisitely boring backstory. At present, the timing of market whims and the distinct lack of readily available funds are infinitely more pertinent than any supposed structural shortcomings of XRP. One simply must focus on the details, you see. 🧐
Notre héros de l’Ethereum, ce grand monsieur, a cédé pour près de 17 000 USDC ses jetons UNI, KNC, et DINU – autant dire qu’il lâche un peu de grain dans l’arène! Lookonchain nous révèle que 1 400 UNI (petite bouchée, n’est-ce pas!), 10 000 KNC, et 40 trillions de DINU ont disparu dans son portefeuille mystérieux.
The coming week will be dominated by data from the wider economy, with employment and inflation reports in the U.S. and interest-rate decisions in Japan and Europe. Coinbase, the largest publicly traded crypto exchange, announces a system update that is expected to include an in-house prediction market.
In this year of reckoning, the bank speaks of “weakening retail participation” as if it were a haunting refrain, echoing through the empty chambers of once-bustling trading floors. Spot volumes, those cherished lifeblood of exchanges, are on a downward trajectory-an ominous sign indeed! The analysts, like thoughtful philosophers, ponder, “What could possibly reverse this grim fate?”
Apparently, around $23.8 billion worth of options are expiring on December 26th. Which, let’s be honest, is a LOT of money. It’s not the sort of thing your average person is fiddling with, it’s more for the institutional types – the people with the very serious spreadsheets. They’re not like, YOLO-ing into it, more like… carefully calculating risk. Less fun, arguably.
