USDTHB

A report from Digital Asset Solutions (DAS) claims there are three reasons this could work. Oh, here we go again. 🤦♂️

Our beloved BTC is still twirling around the stage-more like a tired, dance-off cold homeowner around $90,000 lately. This congestion phase, I must add, is like me at a party when someone mentions child support just as everyone’s about to leave. It’s disheartening but also kinda defines humankind, huh?

Rinsch was convicted on one count of wire fraud and one of money laundering-each punishable by 20 years in prison. Because nothing says “creative freedom” like turning a sci-fi series budget into a crypto experiment. 🚀

According to the wise oracle Lookonchain, our hero’s liquidation price sits at a cozy $2,234.69-far below the current $3,193 ETH price-so he’s essentially playing with house money while everyone else frets over the market’s mood swings.

Friday’s announcement was as cheerful as a dog with two tails, revealing that Bitnomial’s prediction market will now encompass everything from crypto hullabaloo to economic head-scratchers. It’s a bit like giving a kid a new toy chest-only the toys are crypto and macroeconomic data, and the chest might just be a literal treasure island. Traders will be able to wager on outcomes like token prices, inflation forecasts, and other numbers that make economists and gamblers equally excited-because who doesn’t love a good gamble on the fluctuating fortunes of digital currencies?

Tether, the crypto firm behind the world’s largest stablecoin, USDT, is aiming to acquire popular Italian football club Juventus FC, boosting its minority stake to 100%.

Yet, in this bleak landscape, a glimmer of hope flickers-renewable energy, that ancient and fickle lover. Sangha Renewables, ever the optimist, has lit the torch of solar power in Texas, while The Phoenix Group dances with the currents of Ethiopia’s rivers. 🌞💧

Ah, the marvels of modern finance! Backed Finance, in a magnificent partnership with Chainlink, has gifted us with xBridge-an audacious cross-chain bridge that allows tokenized stocks to waltz between Ethereum and Solana, all the while keeping track of corporate actions like stock splits and dividends. Truly, a spectacle to behold.

Meanwhile, the whole thing feels a bit like a soap opera. HYPE is weak, and Hyperliquid Strategies (NASDAQ: PURR-because what could go wrong with a stock called PURR?) is doing a $30 million stock buyback. Yeah, they’re buying their own stock. Genius, right? Or just throwing money into a black hole? You decide.

Enter VisionPulsed, the YouTube oracle, whose prognostications are as dramatic as they are dubious. With the gravitas of a soothsayer and the precision of a carnival barker, he declares that Dogecoin is destined to revisit the $0.05-$0.06 abyss within the next twelve months. A bold claim, one might say, though not entirely unprecedented in the annals of this canine-themed farce. His rationale? If Bitcoin, that fickle monarch, succumbs to a bear market, DOGE shall bleed like a wounded fox in a henhouse.