Based on data from the Tokyo Stock Exchange (which, I assume, contains more spreadsheets than an Excel convention), Metaplanet’s stock zipped from a mere 997.6 billion yen in May to a positively brag-worthy 1.87 trillion yen in June. That’s an 87% leap. For perspective, if my waistline did that, I’d blame the ramen and cry softly into my pillow.
Bit Digital, with its bold and somewhat audacious move, is now steering its ship towards the Ethereum horizon. After raising a whopping $172 million from eager investors, the company is on a mission to become the world’s largest corporate holder of ETH. With over 100,000 ETH already in its coffers, Bit Digital is not just dipping its toes but diving headfirst into the Ethereum pool. 🏊♂️
Now, these folks are strutting around as one of the biggest publicly listed ETH holders, waving around 100,603 ETH, which is like having a treasure chest worth a staggering $254.8 million. Ching-ching! 💰
The real icing on this digital cake? Asset managers now sit atop an impressive pile worth $188 billion, the sort of sum that would make even Discworld’s Patrician raise an eyebrow and mutter “They’re doing what with invisible money?”
Coinalyze data revealed that the memecoin saw a 4% price hike over the past 24 hours, but an 8% increase in Open Interest. The speculative activity was another market of bullish strength, proving that when it comes to BONK, the only thing more speculative than the coin is a Mel Brooks script reading! 📜
Monsieur Garlinghouse, porteur d’un vent fort favorable (gare à vos perruques, messieurs !), vient d’annoncer, tout guilleret, la fin de la grande querelle d’appel contre les terribles dragons de la SEC, proclamant sur X (le réseau qui fit autrefois gazouiller Twitter) : « Le chapitre se ferme, n’en parlons plus ! »
D’aucuns disent que la SEC, épuisée de tant de batailles, laissera elle aussi tomber l’épée et la plume sous l’œil perçant de la juge Torres, qui, l’été dernier, déclara brillamment que l’XRP, sur le marché secondaire, n’est ni cygne noir ni valeur non enregistrée mais, hélas, pécuniairement coupable de $125 millions pour ses échanges d’antan. Le brouillard des procès enfin levé, reste à la noble Chambre des Représentants la question abyssale : « Qu’est-ce donc que ce XRP ? » (Personne ne sait, mais tout le monde fera semblant à merveille 😏)
Enter TruthLabs, a Bitcoin on-chain sleuth with a theory that’s equal parts intriguing and bizarre. Apparently, Christian, Olivier Janssens, the son-in-law of the last king of Italy (because, why not?), might be the culprit behind the massive BTC transfer. TruthLabs claims that Janssens was mining Bitcoin less than a month after its creation, which is either impressive or suspicious, depending on how you look at it. 🤔
Meanwhile, BRICS (that’s Brazil, Russia, India, China, and South Africa for those who don’t speak acronym) is over here like, “Hey, we’re a world power now, and we’re gonna make our own currency, thankyouverymuch!” 💁♀️
On the 7th of July, a date destined for the footnotes of investor smugness, TIA rebelled against its past, climbing 12% and glancing coyly at $1.67 as the clock struck press time. Traders, naturally, swarmed like hungry peasants to a bakehouse, and so trading volume multiplied by 170%—a surge inspiring both suspicion and fevered optimism.
This address, a veritable treasure trove, held a modest 900 ETH, which, back in the misty days of 2015, was worth a mere $279. Yes, you read that right. ETH was trading for mere pennies, like the price of a second-hand teacup at a village fete. Fast forward to the present, and the same 900 ETH is now worth a staggering $2.27 million. One can only imagine the look on the owner’s face when they checked their balance—probably a mix of shock, joy, and a sudden urge to buy a yacht. 🛥️