Brandt’s chart analysis? A masterclass in doom. He’s spotted a “broadening top” pattern, which basically means Bitcoin’s throwing a party where everyone’s invited… except buyers. The price slipped below support like a contestant on a reality show, and now we’re all just waiting for the next elimination. Spoiler: It’s not pretty.
Midnight, which debuted in the crypto space in December 2025, is a blockchain that uses zero-knowledge proofs for data privacy in decentralized apps. Or as we like to call it, “privacy so strong, even your ex can’t track you.” Its listing on eToro signals growing adoption among users in the broader crypto space. Or, as skeptics might say, “growing confusion.”
The network is ambitiously shooting for a throughput between 15,000 and 35,000 transactions per second-because who wouldn’t want to push their nerves (and servers) to the brink before letting the public in? It’s like inviting your friends over for a dinner party and deciding to cook a five-course meal with only one pot and a microwave.
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The tale of Bitcoin’s price is one of contradictions, like a stubborn mule in a windstorm. While the spot ETFs have become the unsung heroes of the crypto plains, soaking up sell-offs with the tenacity of a desert cactus, the macroeconomic sky rumbles with threats that would make a warhorse skittish. Traders, those modern-day fortune-tellers, squint at the $92,000 mark, wondering if this is a mere blip or the prelude to a tempest.
In a move as dramatic as a Bulgakov novel, Portugal’s gambling regulator, the illustrious SRIJ, has decreed the banishment of Polymarket, citing its unholy alliance with illegal crypto betting and the sinister whispers of insider trading. Oh, the audacity of these digital soothsayers, daring to predict the whims of politics and profit from the sacred act of democracy!
Ethereum, in a single day, processed nearly 2.9 million transactions, a feat that would make even the most jaded observer raise an eyebrow. Yet, the price of Ether, that fickle creature, remained as indifferent as a cat at a dog show. One must ask: is this surge a triumph of technology or a tragicomedy of deception?
Ki Young Ju, the illustrious founder of CryptoQuant, has revealed that the elite custodians of Bitcoin have spent the past year amassing a staggering $53 billion worth of the cryptocurrency. One might call it a “bull market” of greed, or perhaps a “bear market” of restraint-either way, the numbers are as impressive as they are absurd.
To qualify, projects must launch a token, build a project, retain at least 10% of their token supply (because nothing says “commitment” like keeping 10% of your own money), and “build in public.” This last part involves posting on X, forming a community, and streaming on Pump.fun-because nothing accelerates failure like pretending to care about your audience. Funding is “market-driven via tokenization,” which is just a fancy way of saying “we’re not entirely sure how this works, but it sounds blockchainy.” Jurisdictions and platform terms may apply, because even the universe has rules (though it rarely enforces them).
The Layer 1 chain, ever the orator, proclaimed in its statement: