Folks are sayin’ it looks like this Arbitrum [ARB] might be findin’ a bottom. Network activity, too, is pickin’ up steam. Though whether that’s genuine excitement or just folks tryin’ to catch a fallin’ knife is anyone’s guess. 🤷♂️
The Connecticut Department of Consumer Protection (DCP), ever vigilant in their duties, dispatched letters to these platforms on a Wednesday, declaring them guilty of “conducting unlicensed online gambling, more specifically sports wagering.” Oh, the scandal! Commissioner Bryan Cafferelli, with a stern countenance, proclaimed, “None of these entities possess a license to offer wagering in our state, and even if they did, their contracts violate numerous other state laws and policies, including offering wagers to individuals under the age of 21.” Tsk, tsk, how imprudent! 🧐
Vanguard, that $11 trillion behemoth of cautious investing, has gone and shocked the world-or at least the part of it that cares about digital Monopoly money. Ric Edelman, a fella who knows his way around a dollar, took to Twitter (or “X,” if you’re feeling fancy) to declare this the “most bullish signal since someone decided gold was worth more than a shiny rock.”
Axis has been quietly fiddling about in a closed beta, so it’s not like they’ve been shouting about it from the rooftops. They’ve deployed (a very impressive) $100 million, which they’re using to test if their clever little arbitrage tricks actually work. Apparently, they’ve achieved a Sharpe ratio of 4.9 even when Bitcoin was doing its usual, dramatic thing. This, they say, is the key: yield without having to guess which way the market will go. Because who likes risk, really? 🤪
The report, penned with all the gravitas of a butler announcing dinner is served, noted that the Fed’s return to the bond market might just mean the great cash drain is over. This, they claim, is usually good news for risk-on assets-like cryptocurrencies, or investing in a friend’s dubious “can’t-lose” ostrich farm.
Behold the sacred last page of the playbook-no secrets here, just pure, unadulterated Hodl theology.
On Wednesday, Coinbase’s stock closed at $276.92 per share, up over 5%. The logic behind this dramatic dance of numbers is simple: when Bitcoin rallies, people trade more. When people trade more, Coinbase profits more. And when Coinbase profits more, investors temporarily forget about things like “valuation multiples” and “price targets.” It’s the most beautiful, if not slightly irrational, cycle. At least on the days when Bitcoin is riding high. 📈
In their monthly report-a scroll of such length it could rival the Illiad-they pondered why Bitcoin, that fickle lover of volatility, hath performed so poorly of late. Alas, it hath fallen three standard deviations below its 90-day average, while the S&P 500, that stoic companion, hath but stumbled once. How tragic!
Bitwise’s XRP ETF is now available for Vanguard’s elite clientele, thanks to a tweet from CEO Hunter Horsley. It started trading on Nov. 20, and the inflows? Let’s just say they’re as impressive as Mel Brooks’ comedy. 🎭
In a Wednesday X post, Polymarket declared it would grace waitlisted users with its US app, starting with bets on sports event contracts. “Followed by markets on everything,” they say. How very ambitious. 🎯
