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Lo, the heralds of Whale Alert have proclaimed a marvel: 200 million XRP, a sum worth $445 million, hath been spirited away from Ripple’s vault! A transaction so grand, it doth rival the plots of our most esteemed comedies. Ripple, the mighty holder of 42% of XRP’s treasure, hath moved this bounty to an unknown realm on November 18, 2025, at the stroke of 16:22:00 UTC. The cost? A mere 0.00004 XRP-a pittance for such a spectacle! And all while XRP traded at $2.22, a price that now seems but a distant memory. 🤑

According to the soothsayer MAC_D, this price is no mere coincidence but a “realized price” cluster-a mystical convergence where retail peasants and whale aristocrats alike find their fates intertwined. 🧙♂️ While the small fry flee in terror, the leviathans of the deep pockets continue their silent accumulation, as if dancing to a tune only they can hear. 🎶

continued to struggle with overhead pressure during its latest 24-hour trading window, trading near £4.80 after slipping below the £4.95 support level. A most disheartening turn for the hopeful! 😢

Ah, yes! The game continues-an endless jest played upon the hopes of mankind, who see in Bitcoin some divine salvation or at least a fleeting escape from their miserable fates. On a Thursday-perhaps the very day they realize the absurdity of it all-Metaplanet unveils its latest stratagem, deploying 23.61 million of its silent, vote-less tokens to lure more fools into the depths.

On a crisp Thursday in November, Tether, the world’s largest stablecoin issuer, announced its union with Parfin, a firm straddling London and Rio de Janeiro like a financial tightrope walker. 🌍🤹♂️ Paolo Ardoino, Tether’s CEO, proclaimed this move as a bridge between the staid world of traditional finance and the wild west of blockchain. “Latin America,” he declared with a flourish, “is not just a market-it’s a crypto powerhouse, a carnival of innovation!” 🎭⚡

The Charlotte-based digital asset treasury company disclosed that the ETH liquidation took place on Oct. 23, using proceeds from the sale-along with a $10 million loan-to increase the pace of its buyback plan. The transaction is tied to the firm’s previously announced $200 million common share repurchase initiative. 🧙‍♂️

A Bitwise analyst predicts the “max pain” zone for Bitcoin to be between $84,000 and $73,000. Oh joy. 😬

Behold! The chart below reveals gold’s “excellent momentum” amidst correction, while Bitcoin languishes in the realm of momentum outliers. A true Shakespearean tragedy, if only the cryptocurrency had a soliloquy to confess its sins. – Jurrien Timmer (@TimmerFidelity) November 20, 2025

The Bitwise XRP ETF launch comes exactly a week following Canary Capital’s XRP ETF XRPC, which saw its debut on Nov. 13. A mere blink in the annals of market history, yet enough to spark a frenzy among those who thrive on the thrill of the chase. 🏃‍♂️💨

On the eve of its launch, Bitwise officially tossed its hat into the ring, much to the delight of the XRP faithful. The SEC’s regulations? Check. NYSE listing? Check. Wall Street’s next big spectacle? Double-check. 🎟️