Ethereum, that fickle lover, failed to breach $3,200, its dreams dashed like glass. The $3,150 threshold, once a promise, now a prison. The price, a beggar, dips below $3,050, its pockets empty, its spirit broken. A low of $2,941, a tombstone, marks the end of its brief rebellion.
That Maartunn guy on X? He’s looking at these ETF holdings and saying, “Hmm, interesting.” Because nothing screams stability like losing a couple of billion while sitting comfortably on your sofa. These ETFs, for those who don’t know, are the “set it and forget it” of crypto investing-no need to deal with the blockchain rubbish, just buy a fund and pretend you’re Warren Buffett. They got certified by the SEC last year, so naturally, everyone jumped in-until they didn’t. Now they’re losing more money than a Friday night at a Vegas roulette table. And somehow, that’s considered a good day. Or maybe just the day that’s not as bad as yesterday. Or the day that’s slightly less stomach-turning.
Despite this shiny new partnership, POL’s price looks about as cheerful as a wet cat in a rainstorm. It’s down to $0.145 and might sink further to $0.13 unless Mastercard pulls a miracle rabbit out of its hat. 🐇
Indeed, as other luminaries of the crypto realm urge haste, the US remains as steadfast as a gentleman refusing to declare his affections until the lady has first smiled. A most curious courtship, to be sure. 💍
The agreement, announced in Riyadh on Nov. 18, was facilitated by Seaside Arabia, which probably charged extra for the “royal treatment.” The collaboration aligns with Saudi Arabia’s Vision 2030 objectives, which, if we’re being honest, is just a fancy way of saying “We need to stop relying on oil and start relying on… more oil? 🤷♂️”
Because, my dear reader, El Salvador possesses the foresight of a fortune teller with a crystal ball-buying the dip is simply their version of retail therapy. 🛍️
The largest company in the digital asset industry, Tether, recently announced a strategic investment. The firm has sponsored Ledn, a global market leader in consumer Bitcoin-backed loans. This spending is focused on creating important new financial infrastructure. 🧠💸
Spoiler: It’s not because Congress is releasing the Epstein files – but that headline didn’t hurt the chaos. 🤡
Not content with just one partner, Mastercard has also given the nod to Mercuryo, the payment API firm, to handle the ticklish task of verifying users and issuing aliases linked to their on-chain identity. Quite the social butterfly, our Mastercard, eh? 🦋
