USDTHB

Behold, the noble DOGE, once a champion of the meme realm, now humbled by a 2.08% decline since yesterday. Alas, the fickleness of fortune! 😢🐕

Traditionally, Bitcoin, that capricious specter, peaks twelve to eighteen months after a halving-an event as despairing and inevitable as spring’s fleeting promise. April 2024 brought the latest such halving, and if history has any say, the summer of 2025 should see the crowning moment-or so Melker claims, with an air of cautious optimism, or perhaps sarcasm-pointing towards April or October with a sardonic grin.

One may gain access to these Liquid Yield Tokens with the utmost ease, simply by swapping their USDC holdings via the protocol’s web app or Avalanche’s DEX LFJ (formerly known as Trader Joe, a name change as whimsical as a summer breeze). 🌬️

Through their app, OKX now lets users trade tokens without handing over their keys to the kingdom. Self-custody wallets, they call it. A noble idea, really, if you enjoy the thrill of holding your own private keys like a pirate guarding a treasure map. No more trusting the bank to keep your gold safe. Just you, your phone, and the occasional existential dread about quantum computing.

rise, fall, repeat. 🔄

In the wake of this political theater, Bitcoin’s price, like a phoenix from the ashes of bureaucratic inertia, rose above $101,000. The bill, signed with all the gravitas of a man who relishes the spotlight, ended the longest shutdown in American history and, with it, the stifling embrace of political stalemate. 🌪️

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when exchanges of Binance’s caliber deign to list a token, the market behaves like a debutante at her first ball-flushed, giddy, and utterly unpredictable.

According to Metaplanet’s Q3 2025 results, revenue jumped 1,700% YoY, hitting 4.3 billion yen. Net profit? A jaw-dropping 13.5 billion yen. Last year, they were losing 321 million. Talk about a rollercoaster! 🎢💸

The leadership lineup at the Federal Reserve will go through another change come February 2026 after Atlanta Fed President Raphael Bostic on Wednesday, announced his departure from the regional branch. Bostic’s five-year term expires on February 28, 2026, at which point, the 59-year-old Harvard economist will formally exit. 🗓️

Martinez, who I assume is not related to the guy who sells churros outside the 99 Cent Store, claims Chainlink has been bouncing between two trendlines like a caffeinated ping-pong ball. This “Triangle” pattern, as he calls it, is apparently the crypto equivalent of a “no-trade zone”-a fancy way of saying, “Don’t bet your last $13 on this, because it’s probably going to tank again.”