The Chinese National Computer Virus Emergency Response Center, a name that rolls off the tongue like a bureaucratic tongue-twister, proclaims the 2020 hack as a state-level operation. The evidence? The stealthy, almost poetic movement of 127,272 stolen tokens, as if the culprits were ballet dancers in a theater of deceit. Bloomberg, ever the chronicler of such farces, reports with gravitas. 🎭
The most valuable digital money on the planet swung within a hefty $3,289 range, with the critical breakdown waving “hey there!” at 2:00 PM on an epic 27,579 BTC volume-138% above the average or “normal,” which apparently doesn’t mean ‘ever.’
Icahn Enterprises, the titan’s hedge fund, has snatched up a nearly 15% stake in this automotive repair chain, sending its shares soaring like a startled sparrow. From $15.05 to $18.05-a 20% leap! 📈 But hold your horses, folks, because Monro ain’t going down without a fight. They’ve slapped on a shareholder rights plan faster than a grease monkey changes a tire, aiming to keep Icahn from turning their company into his personal playground. 🛠️🚫
Bitcoin, in its infinite mood swings, couldn’t hold on past the $105,500 pivot level. The bears got involved-probably because the Bitcoin market noted they needed more than their disappointed friends for support. After reaching a casual high of $107,400, BTC then looked at $105,000 and said, “Nope, not me, I’m going for broke to below $104,000.” Meanwhile, the 100-hour SMA and a very smug bearish trend line at $103,300 were just laughing at it, like they knew something we didn’t.
Sentiment, oh, that delicate bloom! Loud pronouncements of bullishness, even a thickening of the Chainlink Reserve by 78,000 LINK… charming, really. Like decorating a room aboard a sinking ship. A charming futility. Mathematical assurances of burgeoning goodwill…but for what? It is all very well to partner with ‘established financial entities’ (such as they are), but does anyone believe, truly? The market, that great, indifferent judge, remains unconvinced.
It is believed that the XRP ETF could achieve twice the gains Solana recorded in its first week, citing strong demand evidenced by XRP’s $143 billion market cap. A mountain of money, if you will.
Mark your calendars, dear reader, for early December shall witness the rollout of this grand experiment. The Ethereum Twitter handle, with all the gravitas of a court jester, declared the news, sending ripples of excitement through the crypto taverns. Investors, clutching their ether like talismans, now whisper of bullish omens and moonshots. 🌕
Picture this: a trader, clearly bored or perhaps just feeling reckless, pulls out a hefty $3 million from OKX, sorts it around to nearly twenty wallets, and then boldly places long bets on POPCAT, leveraging the excitement at 5x. Because what could possibly go wrong? 🤡
Behold, a deluge of $5.72 billion in outflows and the drying up of inflows have left Ethena’s TVL gasping for breath, its market sentiment a shadow of its former self. 🌪️⚰️
Miami Beach – When Shayne Coplan launched Polymarket, he didn’t have a team or major funding. What he had was a blockchain, a strong conviction, and a laptop. (Also, possibly a pet tarantula. Not confirmed.)