On a crisp November morning, as the leaves turned gold and the coffee grew cold, DBS and Kinexys by J.P. Morgan announced their latest endeavor-a collaboration so bold, it might just make the financial world blush. 🌟 Their mission? To build a bridge where tokenized deposits can prance between public and permissioned blockchains, 24/7, like well-dressed guests at a never-ending soiree. 🌉✨
Hayes, who co-created BitMEX and then took long walks away from the spotlight, now finds himself holding a portfolio that’s shrunk from the moon to a modest $17 million. But don’t worry-he’s still a heavyweight, holding Ethereum, Ethena, USDC, Lido, and other crypto curiosities. Meanwhile, UNI’s price has gone on a tear, up nearly half-fancy that-just in time for Hayes’s grand reentry. The price? Sitting comfortably at $8.64, having jumped 20% overnight. Market cap? About $5.45 billion-because crypto investors love a good rollercoaster and a big number to talk about. 🎢💰
The platform, called CT Settle (a fancy acronym that sounds like something you’d find in a spy movie), will let financial institutions trade crypto and stablecoins while pretending they’re still in the “traditional” finance game. It’s like telling your parents you’re going to work from home but you’re actually just binge-watching Netflix in pajamas.
This Canadian genius, an alchemist of code and chips, insists aging is preventable, as if it’s just a bug in the grand software of human existence, waiting for the patch-a miraculous upgrade. His philosophical cocktail? A dash of tech optimism, a splash of long-term vision, and a generous pour of altruism, all served with a side of Silicon Valley swagger.
In a move that’s as surprising as a wizard using a smartphone, FIS and Intain have decided to drag asset-backed lending kicking and screaming into the 21st century. This week’s unveiling of the Digital Liquidity Gateway is like giving traditional finance a shot of espresso-strong, jolting, and probably a bit chaotic. ☕💥
Loans, Lies, and Legal Woes! 🕵️♂️⚖️
This partnership will seamlessly weave Polymarket’s event contracts into the PrizePicks app, enabling users to predict everything from sports matches to cultural events. A veritable smorgasbord of possibilities, though one can’t help but wonder if the “cultural events” include the company’s own stock price. 📈🎭
The Pi Network has rolled out an update so significant, it’s like upgrading your toaster to a self-aware coffee machine. Version 0.5.4, now dubbed “Pi Desktop,” promises smoother sailing for Pioneers. It’s basically the difference between rowing a canoe and hitching a ride on a luxury yacht-except the yacht occasionally forgets how to steer. 🚤
Here’s the lowdown, straight from the horse’s mouth:
