As Bitcoin and its chattering crypto cousins continued their descent this week – oh, such melodrama! – the lamentations of experts fell upon our ears, decrying the impact of trade tensions between the unsung US and China, coupled with an array of macroeconomic jests. Bitcoin, ever the dramatic performer, swooned to $99,607, as noted by the ever-watchful CoinGecko data.
Brace yourselves: More Bitcoin. Shockingly, they’re not buying a yacht. They’re also eyeing some income-generating projects and, surprise surprise, share buybacks. 💸
CoinGlass, the chronicler of market folly, reports $1.7 billion in liquidated positions within 24 hours, with $1.3 billion in longs meeting their untimely end. Margin calls, those relentless harbingers of doom, cascaded through the market like a domino effect in a house of cards. 🃏 The crypto market cap shrank to $3.4 trillion, shedding $290 billion as altcoins like Ethereum and Solana joined the lament. 😢
Ripple CEO Brad Garlinghouse has voiced a strongly bullish outlook, expressing confidence in both the company’s performance and the broader crypto market. Ripple announced on Nov. 5 on social media platform X that it achieved record milestones and secured a major strategic investment, a move Garlinghouse described as pivotal for the “future of crypto.”
Total net revenues reached $1.27 billion, supported by gains in options and equities trading. The company also reported growth in funded accounts, signaling broader platform engagement. 🦜💥
The goal is as straightforward as it is ambitious: to make Solana as irresistible to institutions as Bitcoin and Ethereum once were when they were still the new kids on the block. Because who doesn’t want to catch a train that’s already speeding down the tracks? 🚂💰
After a year of record-breaking gains, the artificial intelligence (AI) sector is now flashing warning lights like a weary clockwork bird. These AI bubble warnings are getting the blame for the latest market nosedive, rattling everything from Wall Street’s blue chips to the wild world of crypto-where dreams are as fleeting as a cryptocurrency’s value. 📉
Strategy, once strutting around as MicroStrategy (a name that surely gave them bonus points in the “we’re very important” department), has crashed down to a humble $250. That’s a drop of 45% from their peak this year, which was probably accompanied by confetti and a mariachi band.
And oh, the volatility! Bitcoin’s brief flirtation with the coveted six-figure club brought cheers and gasps, while altcoins watched with narrow hopes and even narrower liquidity – because in this world, thin liquidity makes you more vulnerable than a kitten in a lion’s den, as our friends at Wintermute might tell you after one too many cups of coffee.
Announced at Ripple’s Swell 2025 event-where else would you announce a scheme involving “regulated stablecoins” and “decentralized payments networks”?-this plan aims to make financial infrastructure about as complicated as a snozzberry. Which is to say, not at all. 🍫
