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Crypto is once again at the center of Washington’s latest sanctions push. On an official press release on March 12, the US Treasury announced that they have blacklisted a North Korean IT‑worker network accused of routing nearly $800 million through digital assets to fund weapons programs in 2024. The Secretary of the Treasury Scott Bessent, quoted on the announcement, warned that “The North Korean regime targets American companies through deceptive schemes carried out by its overseas IT operatives, who weaponize sensitive data and extort businesses for substantial payments”.

Energy markets are still trying to figure out what day it is. Bitcoin miners, meanwhile, are panicking about power bills. Spoiler: it’s the wrong panic.

The institutional crowd, ever the relentless tide, pushed through the week’s currents, though the flow slowed a bit. Spot bitcoin ETFs recorded $53.87 million in net inflows, a fourth consecutive day of positive flows, as if the market itself were whispering, “More, more, more.”

According to Bloomberg’s James Seyffart, the ETF raked in $15.5 million on its first day. Which, if you’re not a Wall Street wizard, is about the same amount of money I’ve spent on overpriced coffee this month. But hey, at least it’s not a scam… probably.

This, my dear reader, is but the first installment in the grand scheme known as the Orion Fund, a venture of such ambition it has been forged in partnership with the illustrious Draper Dragon. The objective, you inquire? Why, to establish a shared venture fund to the tune of eighty million dollars, dedicated to fostering startups, enriching the ecosystem, and propelling projects upon the Cardano platform. The voting, I must inform you, shall conclude on the fifteenth of April, a date that shall no doubt be marked with great anticipation.

Ethereum, with its $15.4 billion in RWA assets, stands tall in value, but its 153,000 holders pale in comparison to Plume’s legion. Solana, the new darling, crosses the 157,000 mark, yet still falls short. And XRP? Ah, poor XRP, with its mere 3,795 RWA users, despite Ripple’s grand tokenization symphony. A billionaire in value, perhaps, but a pauper in popularity. Meanwhile, Plume, with its modest $340 million, laughs from the sidelines, its user base a testament to the power of the unheralded.

For weeks the token was the grand poor quality of a rom-com-a love story stuck in a cycle of lower highs and a rosier-eyed descent into bearish autopilot. Then, in a scene no one expected, the breakout resembled a surprise rainstorm on an otherwise gray day, rekindling the old debate: has the meme asset finally figured out how to stop fighting the tide and maybe, just maybe, hold its own?

The official website, with its breathless prose, promises attendees the chance to “Meet and Learn from 18 of the World’s Most Influential SUPERSTARS.” Ah, superstardom! That elusive, shimmering mirage. One wonders if these luminaries shall include the coin’s own holders, each clutching their tokens like talismans against the whims of the market.

The Nakamoto tier, honoring the mysterious wizard behind Bitcoin, is reserved for those who hoard over 50,001 shares for at least two years. For the mere mortals, Silver begins at 100 measly shares. Only shareholders in the registry as of June 30, 2026, get to join this gilded circus.

According to Wu Blockchain, the much-anticipated event will now take place on April 21st and 22nd, 2027. A far cry from the original April 2026 dates, but, as they say, time is just a construct – and apparently, so are crypto conferences.