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Imagine, if you will, a world where the greenback’s reign, much like a faded hero, is contemplating its exit, its 56.32% share of global reserves teetering on the edge of a precipice – the lowest in history since the euro was striding confidently into the financial foyer. Meanwhile, 94% of monetary authorities are busy testing the latest trinket in the panoply of banking whimsy: central-bank digital currencies. All this heralds the diversification and digitalization of state money, much like an old nobleman suddenly deciding to wear a derby hat!

Our heroes-Litecoin, with its 1.3% 24-hour tumble and a market cap towering at $7.68 billion, and HBAR, with its own stories and dreams-are knocking on Nasdaq’s door. The filings even mention “approved applications,” which is a fancy way of saying, “Hey, we’re trying to get in the club!” They’ve been busy with paperwork, filing Form 8-A, under the ever-mysterious Section 12(b), because apparently, the SEC loves to keep us guessing whether the show will start today or next week. 🕰️

The hypothetical fully diluted valuation (FDV) now sits at $7.2 billion, though the official post-allocation FDV will be a modest $999 million once final distributions are calculated. One might say it’s like trying to measure the height of a golem while it’s still arguing with itself about its own existence.

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The announcement emerged mid-conversation with reporters, blending the steady hands of central bankers with the speculative souls of financiers-because why not stir vinegar into milk?️ The finalists, he declared with the gravity of a man announcing dinner guests, were these:

Yellow Clearnet, that sly fox of financial alchemy, now dons the XRPL EVM Sidechain like a jeweled collar, ramping up liquidity and traceability for RWAs with the subtlety of a fireworks show in a library. One might say it’s a match made in the afterlife of centralized finance.

One might say IBM has been as interested in digital assets as a cat in a room full of laser pointers-distracted, confused, and occasionally startled. Yet here they are, attempting to catch up with the crypto frenzy, which is growing faster than a teenager’s hair in a windstorm. 🌪️📈

A leap above $115,000, they say, is the litmus test. Fail, and the stage may darken once more, leaving us in the dreary embrace of consolidation. 🌑

Yet, amidst this desolation, a flicker of hope emerges-a potential resurgence, as if the market itself has awakened from a nightmare. Michaël van de Poppe, that enigmatic prophet of crypto, declares this the “longest bear market ever,” yet dares to suggest that the altcoin winter may soon yield to a thaw. A thaw, mind you, that could either save us or plunge us deeper into madness.