Will Bitcoin Take Us to the Moon… Again? 🚀💰

Once more, Bitcoin flirts with the tantalizing specter of its all-time highs, as the illustrious Merlijn The Trader, a soothsayer of our times, unfolded a tapestry of technical charts on social media. He proclaims — with bravado akin to that of a town crier — that Bitcoin has embarked upon its third glorious parabolic phase, setting its course for dizzying heights, perhaps even in the unpredictable year of 2025.

Tariffs and Tantrums: A Most Unfortunate Union

Meanwhile, in a most unfortunate turn of events, shares of Tesla have sunk a staggering 7.2% as the feud between Elon Musk and President Trump reaches new heights 🚀. The tech CEO, never one to shy away from controversy, has announced the creation of the “America Party”, a new political party designed to take on the President and the Republicans 🎉.

Bit Digital Flings $172M into Ether: Did They Forget About Bitcoin (Or Reality)?

Fuelled with the sort of reckless bravado one expects from someone betting the family dacha on a single hand of faro, Bit Digital poured $172 million (from a public offering, no less!) and the roasted remains of 280 Bitcoin into a fresh mountain of Ether. This they disclosed, with a poker face, on a perfectly ordinary Monday—because why not?

Will Bitcoin Soar to $150K? Institutional Whales Say “Hold My Drink”! 🍸🚀

Despite the recent commotion from long-standing holders disposing of over 500,000 BTC—equivalent to more than $50 billion (ah, how thrilling for the perennially curious)—the Bitcoin price remains positively stoic above the momentous $108,500 mark. This resilient demeanor is decidedly due to the institutional eagles circling, ravenously absorbing the excess supply like Kardashians at a boutique clearance sale.