According to Reuters, Ferrari unveiled its first proprietary token on Oct. 25 for its 100 Hyperclub members. These folks aren’t just rich-they’re elite. Think: people who buy cars for the thrill of owning a parking space and then charge admission. 🚗💸
In what’s being called “the most dramatic financial plot twist since the invention of the piggy bank,” Bloomberg’s Isabelle Lee and Suvashree Ghosh report that crypto mergers and acquisitions (M&A) have breached the $10 billion threshold for the first time. This marks the moment crypto finally swaps its hoodie for a tailored suit and starts quoting Warren Buffett-sort of. Highlights include Falconx’s hostile takeover of 21shares (rumored to involve a literal chessboard), Ripple’s $2 billion purchase of GTreasury (because nothing says “trust us” like buying a company named after a board game), and Coinbase’s $2.9 billion hostile cuddle of Deribit. 🤝
Apparently, XRP’s up 8.4% this week. Big whoop. Traders are staring at $2.65 like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party. Break through? Party time. Get rejected? Back to the couch. 🍕🛋️ Meanwhile, Bitcoin and Ethereum are just sitting there, sipping tea, like, “What’s the rush?” 🫖
As our dear Axel the Analyst (the kind who talks in charts and smiles sweetly while watching blood drip on the screens) notes, less of Bitcoin’s coinage is ABC-ready to turn into profit. Why? Because fewer folks bought low so they can sell high, and instead, everyone’s clutching tighter than a miser at Las Vegas. Funny thing-fewer cry for cash, less chaos. The market’s not quite back from its drunken binge of liquidation, but the hangover seems to be easing. Well, slightly.
The daily chart tells a story of hope and heartbreak. Bitcoin, that fickle beast, tried to claw its way back after tumbling from $126,272 like a drunk stumbling out of a saloon. A bearish engulfing pattern sent traders scrambling faster than a rattlesnake in a boot shop. It bottomed at $103,530 before mustering a half-hearted rebound. Now, $112,000 stands like a bouncer at a speakeasy-no volume, no entry.
They’re “quietly rotating” into a few coins. Quietly. Like it’s a secret. Please. Everyone’s doing it. It’s like when everyone pretends they weren’t playing Wordle.
Behold, the European Union’s Markets in Crypto-Assets (MiCA) framework-a modern-day fairy tale for crypto firms! On Oct. 23, Blockchain.com, that paragon of innovation, won the heart of the Maltese Financial Services Authority (MFSA), earning a license to charm all 27 EEA nations. One license, 27 countries! A feat worthy of a standing ovation-or at least a toast with virtual champagne. 🥂
Oh, Bitcoin ETFs, always the center of attention. Fidelity FBTC and BlackRock IBIT were the belles of the ball, raking in $57.92 million and $32.68 million, respectively. Total trading value? A mere $3.34 billion, with net assets of $149.96 billion. That’s 6.78% of Bitcoin’s market cap, honey. They’re not just at the party-they are the party. 🎉✨
It’s a liquidity cluster landmine-break through and you’re a crypto rockstar, stall and you’re the guy who forgot the lyrics at karaoke. 🐄💥
Indeed! The Trump administration, ever the drama queen, now aims to “unite” the SEC and CFTC-a rivalry so bitter it makes the Hatfields and McCoys look like a picnic. 🎭
