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Yes, dear brothers and sisters of the crypto-faith, Revolut, that paragon of virtue cloaked in sleek app design, has announced-with all the solemnity of a cathedral bell tolling at midnight-that starting November 26, those humble souls who hold XTZ shall taste the full, unadulterated manna flowing from the glorious Tezos blockchain. No deductions! No cuts! No shadowy hands siphoning off your spiritual rewards! 100% of the onchain bounty shall be yours! 🙌

The lawsuit claims Binance let over $50 million slip through its digital fingers-because nothing says “responsible banking” like funding chaos, right? 🤷‍♂️

For the folks who actually like the idea of privacy – you know, the sort of people who maybe have an opinion about being constantly tracked – this isn’t just about adding another line item to your brokerage account. It’s about…well, selling out. It’s like introducing a chatty Cathy to a monastery.

Kaspa surged 37% to $0.058, a triumph so audacious it makes one question if the market is a pantomime or a parable. 🐸 The largest wallet, a whale in a tuxedo, added 10 million KAS, as if hoarding tokens were a Victorian parlour game. With supply tighter than a corset and liquidity thinner than a teacup, even a whisper of demand sends prices into a frenzy. Yet, as the old adage goes, “What goes up must… well, probably go down again.” 🎩

In an exclusive tête-à-tête with Thinking Crypto, Frederik Gregaard, the ever-diplomatic CEO of the Cardano Foundation, finally let slip that the much-anticipated ADA product could be closer to reality than anyone dared to imagine. And while the media has been cheerfully dubbing these products “ETFs,” Gregaard wisely points out that most of these applications are technically ETPs. Yes, you heard right-ETPs, which are basically ETFs in disguise. They are fully backed by ADA, yet they can be traded on regulated markets. Oh, the complexities of the crypto alphabet soup! A minor detail, perhaps, but one that distinguishes the grown-ups from the amateurs.

Behold, the ETF chapter of XRP, a saga yet to be fully penned, but already the ink of institutional interest drips with promise. One intrepid analyst, with the fervor of a prophet, now dares to whisper that XRP may soon embark on a journey so grand that even the storied ascent of Bitcoin seems but a humble footnote in the annals of financial history. The early disciples-Grayscale, Bitwise, Franklin, and Canary-have already donned their robes of legitimacy, while the titans of BlackRock and Fidelity, those paragons of prudence, linger in the shadows, their filings delayed as if savoring the suspense.

In an insightful post on the ever-vibrant X platform (formerly known as Twitter, though we all know no one’s calling it that), the on-chain analytics gurus at Glassnode have shared their analysis of a fascinating metric: the Percent Supply in Loss. This charming little number tells you just how much of each cryptocurrency’s circulating supply is currently submerged in the cold, dark waters of unrealized loss.

Ah, Canada. A land of politeness, hockey, and now… a fully compliant stablecoin. It appears the regulators have finally deigned to allow a digital representation of our humble Canadian dollar. One almost feels a twinge of excitement, quickly followed by the realization that this is, after all, just another financial instrument.

The aggregated open interest chart is about as reassuring as a Vogon reading poetry. 📉 OI has been trending downward with the determination of a man who’s just realized he left the stove on. Even when the price tried to bounce back, OI was like, “Nah, I’m good.” 🤚 This suggests traders are closing positions faster than a restaurant on a Monday in a small town. 🏃♂️💨

In this land of vast horizons, Bybit’s platform stands as a beacon of transparency and security, licensed by the august Astana Financial Services Authority (AFSA). A fortress of digital asset exchange, if you will. 🏰