It is with no small degree of astonishment that we report the event of a miner, employing a modest $300 setup, who, against all odds, managed to strike a Bitcoin block worth a rather staggering $347,000. This remarkable feat was achieved through the Solo CK Pool, a platform not often associated with such grand success, … Read more
Once, Pi Network danced on the edge of crypto stardom. February’s $2.98 peak shimmered like a mirage in the desert of decentralized dreams, its $3 billion daily volume a fleeting mirage. Now, it clings to $0.20, a shadow of its former self, while CoinMarketCap ranks it 49th-proof that even pioneers can lose their way in the dark. 🌑
Capital Markets, that paragon of seriousness, confirmed Fidelity now lets U.S. brokerage clients buy SOL. With $5.8 trillion in assets, this is less an “integration” and more a herd of elephants trampling a butterfly-except the butterfly is your savings. Regulated access to Solana’s “scalable ecosystem” (read: crypto’s most chaotic circus) means fresh liquidity will pour in like champagne at a wedding… for a blockchain. 🍾
“He didn’t do anything wrong!” Trump declared, as if defending a toddler who accidentally ate a homework assignment. Representative Maxine Waters, that determined lady of the House, retorted with the vigor of a cat swatting at a laser dot: “This is pay-to-play corruption, plain and simple. CZ’s billions funneled into Trump’s crypto empire, World Liberty Financial, surely greased the wheels of this pardon.”
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So apparently, these decentralized wonderlands called on-chain perpetual markets hit a record-shattering $1 trillion in total trades this month-up from the measly $739 billion of September, trying to keep up like a kid chasing a ice cream truck. This is the biggest monthly trade bash ever, according to DefiLlama (no, it’s not a new dance move).
It seems someone, a nameless soul lost in the digital ether, has experienced a moment of… well, let’s call it ‘fortune.’ They’ve stumbled upon a Bitcoin block reward – $347,455, to be precise. A lottery, really, though one requiring a rather expensive ticket comprised of electricity and a persistent, almost desperate, hope. 🙄
With the fanfare of a butler announcing dinner, Aster has rolled out Rocket Launch, a scheme that turns token launches into something resembling a never-ending tea party-if tea parties involved frenzied trading and the occasional existential crisis over price charts.
The market’s brewing up quite the witches’ brew of chaos, with jittery investors fleeing those pious safe-haven treasures faster than a fox from a hen coop, whispering doom that Gold’s recent strut might just be a flashy folly on the verge of collapse, while Bitcoin teeters on its own rickety correction cliff. Enter Geoff Kendrick, that clever chap at Standard Chartered, sounding the alarm on Wednesday that the ol’ tug-of-war ‘twixt these two is warping under the gloomy spell of U.S.-China tiffs and the world’s liquidity turning as tight as a Scrooge’s purse strings. He reckons Gold’s reign of glory might soon fizzle out, leaving Bitcoin to snatch back the spotlight once this silly sell-off sorts itself. 🤑
Kalshi, the U.S.-controlled prediction market platform, is being handed first-place trophies with bids hitting $12B. Translation: people are throwing money at it faster than I throw shade at my ex’s chicken recipe on Instagram. 🍳😤
