In case you missed it, DeepSick is also feeling optimistic about Bitcoin’s trajectory toward the end of the year. Apparently, $150k isn’t just a pipe dream, it’s the dream.
Roxom co-founder Borja Martel Seward, that wise sage, declares this a “new financial era”-a phrase as common as a beggar’s prayer in a cathedral. The BTC-settled instruments let users gain or hedge benchmark exposure without fiat conversion, enabling BTC-native trading and settlement, and availability is subject to Roxom platform access and local jurisdictional permissions. 🤯
The Federal Reserve, that noble institution of fiscal finesse, now awaits this lone beacon of clarity with the desperation of a man who has misplaced his monocle. One number, and only one, shall determine whether the economy dances on a tightrope or tumbles into the abyss. How thrilling!
“In 1977, soybeans wept 50%,” he scribbles, “and now, Bitcoin mirrors their tears. MSTR? They’ll drown in their own gold!” 🚽 He adds, “I’m not a prophet, just a man who bets on the storm-or the calm. Either way, I’m ready to dance!”
1⃣ Coinbase has pulled off a surprising twist in the grand tale of currency evolution, snatching Echo right off the market, like a farmer claiming the last ripe peach of the season. Is this the dawn of a new glean in the crypto fields?
India is like the overachieving student who keeps getting straight A’s, topping the crypto adoption chart for the third consecutive year. The U.S. is right behind, trying to catch up, while countries like Pakistan, the Philippines, and Brazil are hustling to keep pace. 😂 South Asia racked up an impressive 80% increase in crypto activity compared to 2024, hitting around $300 billion. And they didn’t even need a cheat sheet!
“We’re like the Avengers, but with fewer capes and more code,” tweeted the MetaMask team on X, probably while sipping their cold brew. SEAL chimed in, calling it a “decentralized immune system for crypto security.” Fancy, right? Basically, they’re building a global defense network so robust it could make your grandma’s antivirus software blush. 🤝💻
In a tone both grave and comical, the brave souls of Jupiter declared that their beta version is now live, poised like a prizefighter on the cusp of a great bout. They’re inviting the public to prophesy which gladiator of the race will claim glory in Mexico’s Grand Prix. Is it Max Verstappen, the speed demon, or perhaps Lando Norris, the plucky Brit? Or are we just tying our dreams to Oscar Piastri or George Russell? The digital dice have been cast! 🎲
Bitcoin dominance is that humble metric that measures how much of the entire crypto market is soaked up by Bitcoin. When dominance falls, the money pours into altcoins-those “shiny new toys” that everyone loves to forget about when Bitcoin takes the spotlight. But when dominance rises, well, everyone goes running back to the big B, and altcoins are left to fend for themselves. Right now, Bitcoin is eyeing a critical zone. If it breaks above the recent high, it’s game over for altcoins. Time to start hoarding those Bitcoins, folks.
In a missive dated October 17, 2025, Coinbase beseeched the Treasury to embrace the new-blockchain analytics, artificial intelligence, APIs, decentralized identifiers, and the enigmatic “privacy-preserving proofs.” 🧙♂️📜 One wonders if these tools are the panacea they claim to be, or merely another layer of complexity in the eternal dance of cat and mouse between the honest and the nefarious.