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The merger is expected to close in the first quarter of 2026. Because who needs immediate results when you can wait until the market has forgotten your name? 🤷‍♀️

Galaxy Digital soared to a high of $44.3, up 420% from its lowest level in April. (That’s not a typo-it’s a cry for help from April’s stockholders.) This growth has brought its market cap to over $15 billion. (Because $15 billion is just Tuesday money for digital asset moguls.)

For those of you who have been living under a rock, Tezos is this eco-friendly blockchain that loves to help people be energy-efficient while still looking like they belong in the cool crowd. And now, developers working on Etherlink (think of it as Tezos’ answer to Polygon) can get access to Google Cloud’s Web3 Startup Program. Which, let’s face it, sounds like something we should all probably be a part of.

Among the usual suspects, you’ve got the Blockchain Association, Crypto Council for Innovation, and the Financial Technology Association (because who else would be involved in trying to stop Big Banks from taking over your financial life?). These groups have submitted comments to the CFPB, hoping to remind them that people actually care about their personal financial data, and it shouldn’t be in the hands of a few powerful, slightly-evil-looking executives. 😒

Meanwhile, the Great Wizard of Swift, Mr. Tom Zschach, steps forward with a stern look, declaring that Ripple is about as trusted as a fox in a henhouse-lacking confidence, regulatory armor, and fancy settle-what-you-owe access. Yes, the wise old owl of the banking world opens his beak and criticizes. The crypto lawyer, Bill Morgan, then appears like a knight gallantly shouting, “Nay! Unfair and inconsistent, I say!” Clearly, the courtroom got a bit lively that day. 🦅⚖️

Unveiled at a rather charming launch event in Prague (because where else could one unveil such a thing?), the Safe 7 stands as a beacon of Trezor’s tireless, somewhat stubborn, pursuit of transparency in an industry that usually prefers to hide its secrets behind closed doors and non-disclosure agreements. How quaint. 😏

Once Bitcoin hits $1.0M, I’ll give my next prediction of it hitting $10M in a short timeframe.

Bitcoin, once a beacon of hope, now languishes at $107,000, a shadow of its former self, as the market’s “reset” leaves traders in despair. 🤡💸