USDTHB

Bitcoin loafers, hold onto your digital socks! 😱

Asia’s the new tokenization king, apparently. Japan’s 2025 regulations? Basically a green light for Franklin Templeton to sell ETFs like hotcakes to retail investors. 🍱 Because who doesn’t love a good regulatory loophole?

Ripple Labs is throwing a party with $1B worth of XRP tokens, because who doesn’t want to hoard digital assets? 🎉 #XRPParty

What’s the tea, though? Turns out, the big bad whales are throwing a panic party. Two wallets just offloaded $22.88 million worth of ASTER, turning the market into a sell-off buffet. 🐳💥 And if that’s not enough, stage 3 airdrop rewards are coming like a surprise birthday party-except everyone’s dreading it. 4% of the supply is about to hit the scene, and trust me, no one wants to share their cake. 🎂

The Financial Times, that scribe of financial fables, reports the companies now pause their plans, as autumn leaves halt mid-fall. The Cyberspace Administration, that watchful owl, blinked once too often, and the stablecoin dream dimmed. “A ballet of compliance,” one source sighed, “where every step is a stumble.” 🚫

mild continuation lower early in the week, followed by potential stabilization near $2.00.

Short answer: Nope. The memecoin is a dumpster fire that’s gone full-on pyrotechnics. TRUMP is down 70% from its peak, and even the 💰-loving memes can’t save this one now. Market says: “Pass.” NMAX says: “Netflix and chill?”

The “rally” dragged along Dash, Morpho, Bittensor, and Aster-cryptos that sound like they belong in a sci-fi novel. All gained 8% in 24 hours. Congrats, I guess? Maybe they’re just desperate for attention. 🤷

Vitalik, ever the wordsmith, took to X (formerly known as Twitter, but let’s not dwell on that) to explain this marvel. “It’s as simple as a giant peach!” he exclaimed. “You know how long a raw computation takes, so just multiply to get the encrypted time. No fuss, no muss, and hardware-independent to boot!” 🍑⏱️ He did admit, with a wink, that it’s not *perfect*-memory access, parallel processing, and SIMD operations can throw a spanner in the works. But hey, nothing’s perfect except for a golden ticket, right?

According to the scribes of Fortune, this financial windfall was orchestrated by Thrive Capital, led by the enigmatic Joshua Kushner, alongside Greenoaks, elevating the startup’s valuation to a princely $5 billion. A coterie of illustrious firms, including Sequoia, Ribbit Capital, and SV Angel, joined this grand spectacle, though Stripe and Paradigm, the project’s midwives, abstained from partaking in their own creation. 🍷