Public companies, those darling darlings of the market, have been on a spree, snapping up 95% of their Ethereum – a staggering 4.4M+ $ETH, no less – in the past quarter. How utterly extravagant! 💎
This Alderoty chap retorts to a tweet from the National Cryptocurrency Association, affirming that Bitcoin, too, lacks a CEO – oh, what a revelation! It underscores the “independence” of these blockchains, lest we forget that no dictator sits upon a throne deciding who may tickle the pixels or validate the vapors.
The analyst’s thesis, draped in the garb of technicality, insisted that XRP’s monthly demand band-$2.00-$2.40-was a fortress, unbreached even as exchanges flinched to $1.17, victims of “forced liquidations,” not genuine despair. “A wick? Yes, but not a funeral shroud,” he mused, comparing the dip to a frosty morning that fails to kill the spring bud. The five-wave advance from $0.49? A mere prologue. “This is not the end of the bull run,” he declared, “but the intermission before the encore.”
The son of U.S. President Donald Trump confirmed that he’s working on a real estate tokenization project through World Liberty Financial, a decentralized finance platform that launched the $USD1 stablecoin. Because nothing says “innovation” like a Trump property on a blockchain.
Addressing a question about whether market makers were behind the violent sell-off that pulled Bitcoin down to $102,000 and sent altcoins into double-digit losses, Schwartz admitted he had not studied the triggers or mechanics but made it clear that the ripple effect spoke for itself. 🌊🤔
Bill Morgan, the lawyer with more sass than a reality TV star, boldly declared this case an “obvious example of unjust enrichment,” comparing it to those exchanges that conveniently “forget” to pass on airdrops to users. Ouch, that stings! 💥 As crypto analyst Jacob King spilled the tea about the lawsuit, Tether was accused of pocketing frozen reserves while telling Riverstone, “Sorry, you can’t have your money back.” Ever heard of customer service, Tether?
According to them brainy chart-crunchers at Wu Blockchain, Trump’s crypto shenanigans have churned out mountains of gold across the board. Just them TRUMP and MELANIA coins alone? Near ’bout 427 million smackeronis, thanks to all the online hoopla and trading folly. Why, it’s like a gold rush where everyone’s panning for virtual fool’s gold! 💰
A decade-long chart-ah, that noble relic of market analysis-has been resurrected, tracing XRP’s journey from 2013 to 2025. A commentator, presumably armed with a crystal ball and a LinkedIn profile, boldly declared the next rally a potential “Ethereum killer.” How thrilling! One imagines Ethereum responding with a yawn and a reminder that it invented the concept of “killer” in the first place.
Speaking at DC Fintech Week (which sounds like a dating app for robots), Breeden dropped a truth bomb: “We’re thinking of limiting *you* to £10k-£20k in personal stablecoins.” Excuse me?! That’s barely enough to buy one overpriced avocado in Shoreditch. 🥑 Most businesses get up to £10 million, because… obviously billionaires need more crypto. 🤷♀️
The Bitcoin (BTC) price, that beleaguered financial hound, now licks its wounds near $112,900, having giggled its way past $115,900 only to trip into the arms of caution. The weekly charts whisper confessions of waning bullish resolve, while traders fiddle with their portfolios like smokers tucking cigarettes into a coat pocket. What a parlour trick! Meanwhile, in unrelated news…