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Ted Pillows, a market analyst with a name that sounds suspiciously like a pseudonym, has weighed in on the situation. He claims that historical data shows Bitcoin is yet to reach its peak price for the current market cycle. Because, you know, past performance is always a guarantee of future results… said no one ever. 🙄

The move follows his outspoken criticism of Trump’s recently signed $3.3 trillion Big Beautiful Bill, which Musk has called “insane” and “destructive.” Because apparently, trillion-dollar bills are the new black. 🤑

Apparently, consensus reality decided to join the fun, with Bitcoin’s price rising to an absolutely normal and not at all eye-watering $108,000. Ethereum, not wishing to be left out, puffed itself up by 3.6% in a single week, mostly by sheer force of existential angst. And let’s not forget the global crypto market cap, which now stands at $3.33 trillion – up from $3.21 trillion, or, for those who struggle with numbers that big, “a whole lot of zeroes”.

The superstar, known for his enigmatic presence and lyrical prowess, surprised fans by dropping “What Did I Miss” during a July 4 Youtube stream titled “ICEMAN EPISODE ONE.” In this performance, Drake donned the guise of a worker on break, a stark contrast to his usual glamorous persona. The song delves deep into the theme of betrayal, a result of his 2024 clash with Lamar. Drake’s lyrics are a poignant reflection on the shifting loyalties of former allies, drawing a striking parallel to the unpredictable nature of bitcoin. He raps: “I look at this sh*t like a BTC / Could be down this week, then I’m up next week,” a clever nod to the cryptocurrency’s notorious price swings. This metaphor not only highlights the capriciousness of relationships but also adds a layer of financial wisdom to his artistry. 🤑

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Bini Smaghi—as usual gliding through the Financial Times with a fountain pen and an arched eyebrow—pointed out that Europe’s big new crypto law, MiCA, makes anyone issuing a stablecoin back them up with cold hard cash or the dullest government bonds imaginable. (Yes, that type of fun!)

The monthly XRP chart is quietly flexing its muscles, like a bodybuilder preparing for a competition. For years, $1.90 was the resistance level that refused to be conquered, but in 2024, XRP decisively broke above $2 and has since stabilized, holding steady above it like a triumphant flag planted on a mountain peak. 🏔️

The price of SHIB has taken a little tumble, down 0.8% since yesterday. I guess some of us are just not morning people. 🕒😴

The exodus harks back to the glory days of Q1 2020, when everything was being sold except perhaps one’s own grandmother. Robert Tipp, high priest of bond wisdom at PGIM, offered this ominous gospel: “It’s a volatile environment, with inflation misbehaving and the government churning out IOUs as only a government can. People are nervous at the long end of the yield curve, though they do appreciate the coffee at Fed meetings.”