But, let’s not get too excited. While DOGE may have bounced back, it’s still down 17% over the past week. So, is this the start of something great? Or just a brief pit stop before another dive into the abyss? Traders are, naturally, staring at the charts like they’re looking for the meaning of life in pixelated lines. 📉📈
Picture this: Maria Corina Machado’s odds for the Nobel Peace Prize skyrocket on Polymarket mere hours before the official hullabaloo – kaboom! Everybody’s yapping about insider trading faster than you can say “farbissener.” But wait, the real punchline? The mystery’s hiding in broad daylight, you schmuck! 🤣
The vigilant eyes of Lookonchain, that modern-day chronicler of digital deeds, revealed the tale: Bitmine, through six newly minted wallets-likely its own-withdrew the ETH from FalconX and Kraken. A strategic maneuver, this “buy-the-dip,” as the plebeians call it, exploiting the plummeting prices with a finesse that would make even the most seasoned gambler blush. 🃏
Track external prices with liquidity so rich, even a tsar would blush. 💰
Ah, Marathon Digital Holdings, the savvy crypto miner, couldn’t resist jumping on the Bitcoin bandwagon amid the chaos of Friday’s market meltdown, according to Arkham Intelligence (yeah, they’ve got data). It looks like they bought an extra 400 BTC through FalconX, racking up a whopping $45.9 million bill for the privilege. Must be nice to have that kind of money lying around, huh?
Most of the US government came to a standstill on Oct. 1 when the Republicans and Democrats failed to reach a funding agreement. This has caused agencies, including the US Securities and Exchange Commission, which approves ETF applications, to run with only essential staff. 🚨 (Essential staff? More like essential staff who are also desperately Googling “how to fix this.”)
And what’s this? Enter Donald Trump, with all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop, claiming he’s helping smooth out the tiff with China-says he “don’t want to hurt China, just work with ’em.” Sure, Donald. Like a fox guarding the henhouse. Next stop, crypto heaven.
Picture a tidy ascending channel-$2.37 at the bottom and $2.59 at the top, like a playground slide. Staying above $2.59 could send XRP racing towards $2.70-$2.75, maybe even flirt with the big 3.0. But step below $2.50 and you might see it retreat to $2.42, possibly contemplating a nap. The big players are leading the charge, confirming a trend reversal with every healthy volume spike-think of them as the crypto version of your overly enthusiastic family reunion.
According to the illustrious Steph is Crypto (a name that sounds like a character from a Douglas Adams novel), HBAR’s fate hangs by a thread-or rather, by its ability to clamber back above the $0.21 mark. This, apparently, is the “bull market support band,” which sounds like something you’d find at a rock concert for cattle. 🎸 The 3-day chart, a thing of beauty and terror, shows the price plummeting like a confused skydiver who forgot their parachute. Multiple failed attempts to sustain higher levels? Classic HBAR. 😅
Altcoins like IoTeX (IOTX), Cosmos (ATOM), and Enjin (ENJ) decided to play a game of “let’s pretend we’re worthless” on Binance, while other exchanges were like, “Nah, we’re still good.” 🤑 Binance later clarified (on a Sunday, no less-because who needs weekends off when you’re in crypto?) that it was all just a decimal place mix-up. Apparently, reducing the number of decimal places caused the prices to display as $0. Classic case of “my bad” meets “blame the intern.”
