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Leading the parade of potential chaos is Sui, which decided to grace us with a $167 million token reveal right at the start of the month. With less than a third of its supply out and about, this could cause quite a stir—think of it as a toddler with a sugar rush in a glass shop. Meanwhile, Fasttoken, with its $91 million unlock, might cause a yawn instead—its supply is already basically on the market, so less impact, more “meh”.

Summary

Not too long ago, our beloved ETH flirted with the $4,000 mark, peaking at $3,941 on July 28 before deciding that maybe $4,000 wasn’t *that* interesting after all. Analysts, however, are calling this little retreat a mere “consolidation” (because apparently, cryptos need spa days too). They believe Ethereum is merely catching its breath before its next grand performance. Curtain up! 🎭

The Ministry of Finance, in its infinite wisdom, hath proclaimed a grand increase in levies upon cryptocurrency transactions. According to Reuters, these draconian measures shall take effect on August 1, 2025. Both domestic and foreign platforms shall feel the whip of this new decree, all in service of a grander strategy: to treat cryptocurrencies not as the untamed commodities they once were, but as the docile sheep of financial assets. 🐑📈

This wasn’t just a random Tuesday; it’s a sign of what we in the biz call a “potential shift” in investor vibes. You know, those little heartbeats that make the DOGE price go all shaky in the middle of an already volatile market. 💸

Meanwhile, the merchants have also deemed fit to add other trinkets—BankrCoin (BNKR) on their Base network and a mysterious Treehouse (TREE)—marked as “Experimental,” which in sober wisdom only means that fools and pioneers alike may suffer or rejoice. After their announcement, the prices gyrated wildly, an echo of mankind’s eternal struggle with the unknown—one day soaring like the eagle, the next plummeting, a feather’s weight away from disaster.

Behold! A colossal $1.3 million wager has been placed on Polymarket, forecasting the U.S. Federal Reserve’s eternal dance of inaction at today’s policy meeting. 🧠💸 This audacious bet mirrors the market’s fervent hope that the Fed will continue its sacred ritual of keeping rates stagnant, following recent pauses that feel as thrilling as watching paint … Read more

While Ripple boasts a veritable army of bank collaborations—hundreds, mind you!—the reality is that the grand ballet of institutional use pirouettes primarily outside the blockchain’s watchful gaze. This, dear reader, is the crux of our conundrum: lower onchain volume, like a forgotten book gathering dust on a shelf. 📚

In a recent X post (yes, the platform formerly known as Twitter, where all the world’s wisdom is distilled into 280 characters), Kiyosaki took a swing at Uncle Sam’s fiscal policies, calling the USA “the biggest debtor nation in history.” 🤑 Apparently, printing money like it’s going out of fashion isn’t a sustainable plan. Who knew? 🤷‍♂️

Gone are the days of poorly written emails filled with grammatical errors and logic so flimsy it could be knocked over by a breeze. Now, scammers have mastered the art of mimicry, crafting emails that mimic Coinbase’s very essence—except, of course, for the part where they’re trying to steal your life savings. A true feat of modern engineering, one might say.