Bitmain, the crypto mining titan with a mustache of ambition, has declared its intent to open a U.S. factory—finally—after years of dodging tariffs and geopolitical chess moves. Why Texas or Florida, you ask? Because nothing says “business expansion” like a bureaucratic comedy of errors and a dash of southern hospitality. 🌵
Behold the buying and selling pressure chart—it’s practically yelling “abandon ship!” with all that relentless selling pressure. A total red flag, like finding out your spaceship’s life support is just a mood ring. BNB’s known for those manic rallies that drag on longer than a Vogon poetry reading, but let’s not kid ourselves; the downside risk is hovering like a bad hangover waiting to pounce. 🍻👀
With great fanfare, they proclaimed an upcoming spectacle, one featuring not just one or two, but a grand parade of 100 of the most beloved US-listed stocks and ETFs, all ready to be traded as blockchain-based assets from Monday to Friday, as reliable as an old rooster crowing at dawn. 🐓
Post-fees, Strategy pocketed $2.474 billion—because who *needs* modesty when you can buy 21,021 BTC at $117k a pop? That’s enough to make a crypto influencer faint! Total stash now? 628,791 BTC (~$47B). Average cost? $73k per coin. *Ch-ch-ch-choices.*
In a scandalous twist of fate, the Spark token now resides at a paltry $0.08075, a far cry from its glamorous past, when a $190 million market cap was the talk of the town. Alas, such is life! 🎭
Ether’s futures volume finally said, “Move over, Bitcoin!” for the first time since 2022. 🎭
Between July 23 and July 26, XRP on exchanges dropped from 4.45B to 4.25B. Like they’re trying to hide from a tax audit. 📜
According to the cryptic runes of on-chain data, these so-called “long-term hodlers” have offloaded a staggering 52,000 BTC since the price hit its latest peak. One imagines them cackling maniacally as they click “sell,” like witches brewing a potion of financial chaos. Analyst Axel Adler Jr., ever the harbinger of doom, pointed out on X (formerly Twitter) that this behavior eerily mirrors the distribution cycles of fall 2024. Back then, prices soared from $65K to $100K, only for profit-taking to rain down like confetti at a funeral.
Behold, Bitcoin has ascended to heights unseen, soaring above €102,800, its monthly candle burning brighter than a Russian winter’s hearth. The charts, those silent storytellers, reveal a tale of triumph: the €95,000-€98,000 resistance, once a formidable barrier, now lies shattered like a broken samovar. And where does it go from here? The €110,000-€115,000 range beckons, a siren’s call to the intrepid bulls.
