Bitcoin to Rocket Past $1M—Even Jeeves Is Buying In, Experts Say 🤵🚀

According to Finder—the financial comparison platform that apparently spends its mornings conferring with crystal balls—twenty-four crypto savants gathered in June (presumably between toasts and a spot of tea) to prognosticate. Their verdict? Bitcoin’s value, like the price of a good bottle of Bollinger in Mayfair, is heading north with alarming enthusiasm.

XRP Price: Stuck in the Mud, Analysts Point to Big Brother Ripple!

In a recent video, Cava pointed his finger at the big invisible hand—Ripple’s central authority—that’s been steering XRP’s market fate. Despite XRP’s strong technical foundation, Cava insists there’s one thing dragging the poor thing down: control. A few key factors are standing in the way of XRP’s freedom: a limited supply, Ripple’s centralized grip, and, let’s face it, a lack of institutional love.

Snakes, Bulls, and AI, Oh My!

And then, of course, there are the early birds – those clever folks who manage to snag the worm (or in this case, the moonshot) before the rest of us have even had our morning coffee ☕️. They’re always on the lookout for the next big thing, the next Dogecoin or Shiba Inu to make them rich beyond their wildest dreams 💸.

OpenSea Snags Rally: A Token Trade Tango with a Mobile Twist 📱💰

According to a press release that was likely written by a committee of tech enthusiasts and a thesaurus, OpenSea’s chief technology officer Nadav Hollander is passing the torch to Chris Maddern, Rally’s CEO. Rally co-founder Christine Hall will also join OpenSea as the company’s chief of staff, because why not? 🤷‍♂️