India’s Reserve Bank of India (RBI) has drafted a plan to connect the central bank digital currencies (CBDCs) of the BRICS nations, i.e. Brazil, Russia, India, China, and South Africa, so people and businesses can make money transfers more smoothly across borders. 🤯
The opening weeks of the year have unfurled as a psychological duel for the crypto investor, a spectacle as absurd as a nihilist at a tea party. 🍵
In the span of seven days, our dear Hyperliquid executed a flawless pas de deux, processing roughly $40.7 billion in perpetual futures trading volume, as the wise sages at CryptoRank have proclaimed. Meanwhile, poor Aster could only muster $31.7 billion, and Lighter, a mere $25.3 billion. Oh, the humiliation! 😂
Sur les échelons dorés de Binance, plus d’un million de dollars ont disparu dans un tourbillon de positions short, et les grands courtajeurs, parés de leurs écharpes de risque, ont été déshabillés par une offensive impitoyable. 🔥💥 Les obligations de M. Trump, avec un charmant accent italien, ont semé le chaos, obligeant même Bitcoin à descendre des hauteurs… pour une pause café… ou une sieste.
“These are the same benefactors who sued, jabs, and shut us down. They offer you crumbs as communion.” 🎉🩸
In fact, crypto-related disputes and theft are increasingly linked to real-world violence, including abduction attempts and ransom schemes designed to force victims to hand over access. It’s like Die Hard, but the villain just wants your 12-word seed phrase and a latte.
While the cryptocurrency market danced in a tumultuous jamboree-bitcoin losing a humble 6% by year’s end-gold-backed tokens rose like sunflowers on the prairie. They became the darlings of traders, bridging the gap between the stability of a stormy sky’s quiet promise and the zest of a new mechanical marvel.
Old Peter Schiff, that fella who’s always been fond of shiny metal, was quick to point it out. Wrote on the thingamajig (social media, they call it), said folks were gettin’ more excited about gold and silver goin’ up than any ol’ football game. And Bitcoin? Movin’ alright-straight down, like a rock in a well. Nearly 3%, he says. A fella can almost feel sorry for those cryptocurrency enthusiasts…almost. 😌
Right now, XRP is pulling off a magic trick: it’s managing to stay afloat with declining volume and a price that just won’t budge. It’s like trying to drive a car on fumes-good luck with that! Technically, yes, it’s above recent lows, but the excitement? Yeah, that’s gone. Trading volume is practically non-existent! Like, did everyone just decide to take a nap? 😴
In the hallowed halls of Congress, a drama unfolds-a tragedy, or perhaps a comedy of errors. The House Financial Services Committee, led by the indomitable Maxine Waters, alongside the valiant Representatives Sean Casten and Brad Sherman, hath dispatched a missive of grave import. 📜 On the fateful day of January 15, 2026, they beseeched SEC Chair Paul S. Atkins to explain the agency’s peculiar retreat from the crypto fray. 🧐