Morpho, presumably the most enthusiastic DeFi entity in the room, announced the partnership on X with the gravitas of someone revealing they’ve cured cancer: “This is the beginning of an inevitable shift: banks are coming onchain and Morpho will be their universal backend.” Translation: “We’re about to get paid in crypto. Pass the champagne.” 🍾
And now, like some mysterious alchemist stepping from the shadows, cryptocurrency enters the fray, shaking hands with this digital coliseum and altering how spectators cheer, players earn, and pixels are bartered. Platforms adopting these arcane currencies – Bitcoin, Ethereum, and their ilk – offer a new dimension of engagement, where fortunes flow with the swiftness of a babbling brook, unburdened by the ponderous bureaucracy of yore.
Apparently, Coberg’s side hustle included using his badge to intimidate rivals while collecting $20K/month. Because nothing says “ethical career move” like moonlighting as a thug with benefits. 🎩🦺
By Shayan (or perhaps a ghostwriter with a penchant for chaos)
On the daily chart, Bitcoin is strutting along a high-wire after plummeting from its lofty $124,517 peak down to a mere $107,270. A dramatic plunge-like a soufflé collapsing under the weight of reality. Yet, like a true show-off, it’s back at it, floating above $114,000 as if the whole ordeal never happened, clinging to the $108,000-$110,000 support zone with the tenacity of a cat refusing to leave its favorite sunbeam.
Rather than burying cash in local vaults, merchants may fund distant payments with stablecoins. At the SIBOS gathering in Frankfurt, Visa spoke of the stablecoin prefunding pilot via Visa Direct, with a hopeful glance toward a novel method of moving funds across the seas. One might suspect a quiet impatience with the old roads, those tedious byways of finance that make the journey feel longer than its reward. 💨
According to their statement to BeInCrypto (because who wouldn’t trust a company that talks to cryptos for a living?), the new raise, powered by Jump Crypto, Accel, and Prosus Ventures, takes KGeN’s total funding to a whopping $43.5 million. Well, that’s what happens when you convince big shots with fat wallets that you’re onto something huge. But what exactly is it? Glad you asked.
And the altcoins? Forget about ’em! They were doing the cha-cha for a minute, full of pep, then…POOF! Back down they went. HYPE and ASTER? Don’t even *ask*. They’re performing worse than my mother-in-law’s borscht. 😖
Behind this modern marvel, transactions don’t just sneak through-they march boldly onchain, armed with programmable logic known as the purpose bound money (PBM) framework. Think of it as a stern teacher ensuring every cent behaves, obediently settling only when all rules are satisfied. Meanwhile, the ever-watchful StraitsX plays the role of the compliance police, inspecting every payment in real-time-because, of course, someone must keep order in this digital wild west.
And guess who’s helping develop the cross-payments ledger that pledges to never sleep? Over thirty major financial institutions, including JP Morgan, HSBC, Citi, and Deutsche Bank (just to name a few! 😂). Oh, and they’re all sipping coffee while the ledger slumbers. 🕒