USDTHB

David Schwartz, Ripple’s Chief Technology Officer – a man, one suspects, who views the status quo with the same affection one reserves for a particularly bothersome mosquito – has quite rightly pointed out the obvious. The American Bankers Association, those guardians of the…well, themselves, have requested a freeze on crypto bank licenses. Including, of course, the pesky applications from Ripple and Circle. If these institutions had their way, one imagines, we’d still be bartering with livestock. 🐄

The SEC, that ever-watchful guardian of propriety, initially permitted only cash redemptions for Bitcoin and Ethereum ETFs—how very pedestrian for such modern treasures.

As the Korea Herald amusingly chronicles, the FSS, with an air of gravity befitting a philosopher on a hilltop, whispered to these managers—“Limit thy exposure!” Such fervent counsel added a sprinkle of sarcasm while pointing fingers at admirable but dubious entities like Coinbase and Strategy stocks. 💁‍♂️

It’s positively scandalous! The mere notion of traditional banking giants accepting crypto as collateral is making history, akin to the “Liberty Bell” ringing during a particularly loud party. Forget the clinking of glasses; it’s the sound of crypto being embraced with open arms. 🍾

According to the ever-diligent Seattle US Attorney’s Office, Homeland Security swooped in during December 2024 to confiscate this digital treasure, stolen from a scandalous scheme promising the spoils of oil tank storage — oh, how the promise of riches can make even the most respectable investors forget their manners. But alas, once the money danced into the perpetrators’ pockets, they vanished faster than a soufflé at a fattening party, leaving investors with empty hands and broken dreams.

In this age of institutional whimsy, Ethereum has become the ‘digital oil’—a phrase so grandiose it could only be concocted by a boardroom of poets. Public companies, like moths to a flame, are flinging themselves into its glow, their financial frameworks quivering with anticipation.

Picture this: XRP has been wallowing in a long, lazy period of sideways trading. Then, like a plot twist in a cheesy Hollywood movie, it finally decides to break free from a trendline that’s been its reluctant jailer since the end of 2024. This trendline was part of a bull flag pattern—chart jargon for “keep calm and carry on… upward!” With the breakthrough above $3.50, traders are now salivating at the prospect of even loftier gains. And if XRP ever takes a breather, a little support is waiting for it between $2.70 and $3.00. (Because who doesn’t love a safety net on a roller coaster ride?)

Flare’s price leaped past the $0.030 resistance like a Brooks character escaping a pie fight. 🥧 With volume surging faster than my jokes at a roast, this breakout from the descending triangle pattern screams, “Trend reversal, anyone?” The RSI is rising but not overcooked—plenty of room for more upside, like a Brooks movie sequel. And the MACD? Bullishly crossed, darling! 🐂

On Tuesday, 21Shares submitted its proposal for the “21Shares Ondo Trust,” a spot ETF that will track ONDO’s price like a lovesick puppy. The fund will hold ONDO tokens directly and use the CME CF Ondo Finance-Dollar Reference Rate for pricing—because who doesn’t want their investments to be as predictable as a soap opera? 🎬

According to Bloomberg, which, like a persistent mosquito, has its ear to the ground, the Bank of England (BoE) is rethinking its consumer-focused digital currency initiative. This, dear reader, is not merely a change of heart but a shift in the tectonic plates of financial innovation. The reasons? A growing chorus of skepticism regarding the necessity and benefits of such a venture. 🤔