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“Sell your ether! 😱 Toss it aside like last week’s leftovers!” he proclaimed, his words dripping with the sarcasm of the ages, urging folks to use the found treasures for a grander scheme—buying Bitcoin. This advice rolled off his tongue quicker than a cat chasing after a fallen leaf. “Of course, it’s only the advice of a man who once likened Bitcoin to the tulips of a frantic Dutch market in 1634—an investor’s folly if there ever was one.” 🌷 But here we are! The world has a strange way of twisting the tales of its characters, doesn’t it?

“A jaunty romp to $6,000, followed by a modest retreat to around $4,000, would indeed be the epitome of market elegance, far preferable to a mere correction,” he noted with a wry smile.

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Our protagonist, Polymarket, once a thorn in the side of U.S. regulators, faced the music of a $1.4 million fine in 2022. “What is a betting market without a little dose of controversy?” they must have chuckled as they blocked American users. Yet, the tides have turned! After a rollercoaster ride of FBI raids and dual investigations, the DOJ and CFTC have decided to take a scenic route, officially dropping the case without a single charge—perhaps they were just busy reading the latest tax codes. 😏

In a shocking twist of events, Schiff actually wrote on X—yes, that X, not the cool treasure map type—“As much as it pains me to say, selling Ether and buying Bitcoin with the proceeds is a better trade than holding Ether.” Dramatic much? 🎭

In a recent social media post, Kiyosaki minced no words: “BUBBLES are about to start BUSTING.” The message, as clear as a bell, rang out on X, his preferred platform for dispensing financial wisdom. According to him, the economy is teetering on the edge, and when it falls, it won’t discriminate between crypto and precious metals. Even the strongest assets, he warns, can succumb to the panic-induced selloffs that often accompany economic turmoil. 📉

Underneath the surface, the HKMA harbors a noble desire to ensure that only those with impeccable reputations are graced with the honor of issuing stablecoins. One might wonder if this is merely a glorified gatekeeping exercise, as firms must not gallantly dash towards applications on their own. Nay, it is the HKMA that will initiate contact, as if calling forth the privileged few to partake in this enigmatic ritual. 🤷‍♂️

Ethereum (ETH) has pumped up a whopping 51% gain in July 2025, with the price hovering around $3,768.63 at the time of writing. This marks a seven-month high and puts ETH within striking distance of the psychological $4,000 resistance level. Hold on to your hat! 🎩

But let us not forget, this is a mere sprinkle compared to last week’s deluge of $1.57 billion, led by the unstoppable Official Trump (TRUMP) and the ever-so-graceful Solana (SOL). 🎈

While Bitcoin has demonstrated a powerful rally, a worrying trend has been observed among whales or large holders. Darkfost, a market expert and verified author, shared a report on X that revealed that BTC whales are on the move once again, with a sharp uptick in large-scale inflows to crypto exchanges. It’s like watching a bunch of squirrels hoard acorns… but with more emojis. 🐿️💸