Crypto’s 2026: A Descent into Digital Madness 🚀

On CNBC’s Squawk Box, a stage more befitting a tragic monologue than financial discourse, Hadick dismissed the notion of a “crypto winter” as a mere whimper of recency bias. “The year has been… tragic,” he said, his voice trembling with faux solemnity, “but let us not confuse a single chapter in this epic with the entire novel. Bitcoin, that noble beast, has risen 26% since the election of ’24, while Nasdaq, that old relic, has clawed its way up 28%. Two years hence, Bitcoin doubled; Nasdaq, that dinosaur, has merely limped forward by 50%.”

ED Raids 21 Sites: Crypto Ponzi Scheme Unveiled! 🚨💰

India’s Enforcement Directorate (ED) conducted a coordinated raid at 21 locations across Karnataka, Maharashtra, and Delhi on Dec. 18, targeting an organization accused of operating a cryptocurrency fraud scheme, according to government statements. 🕵️‍♂️📜

BTC’s Bottom? Saylor’s Doomsday Party & MSTR’s Wild Ride 🚀💸

Bitcoin’s gone from “Vegas baby!” ($126k) to “Uh-oh” ($88k). Strategy Inc.? They’re chilling with a “pause” button on their Bitcoin shopping spree-apparently, their credit card’s on “maintenance mode.” But here’s the kicker: Fear’s spreading faster than a typo in a crypto whitepaper. “Are they gonna sell the BTC hoard?!” people whisper. Oh no… if they sell, the entire internet might short-circuit. 🔋

🚀 Bitwise Joins the SUI ETF Scramble: Who’ll Win the Crypto Crown? 👑

Bitwise Asset Management, those crafty scoundrels, have slyly submitted a filing to the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) to launch an exchange-traded fund tracking SUI tokens. According to the regulatory documents, this fund promises to give investors a taste of the cryptocurrency’s value, minus the pesky operational expenses. Coinbase Custody Company, the trusty sidekick, has been anointed as the fund’s custodian. But shh! The ETF’s ticker symbol and sponsor fee remain as secret as Willy Wonka’s recipes. 🍫🔒

🔥On-Chain Chaos: Market’s Downfall!

Beneath the veneer of efficiency lies the fact that transferring equities to blockchain will not eliminate regulation, structural inequality, or risk. If the industry proceeds in this direction without discipline, the transition to on-chain equity trading could strip the protections that make public markets reliable. 🧠

🚨 XRP’s Wild Ride: $0.90 or Bust? 🚨

XRP Chart from Guy on the Earth

So, this ‘Guy on the Earth’ (still giggling at that name 😂) says XRP has been acting like a rebellious teen, breaking below the $1.95 support for the first time in 13 months. 🕰️ Last time this happened? During the great April Tariff Tantrum of 2024, when the crypto market threw a hissy fit. 😤 If history repeats itself, XRP might just face another nosedive. 🌀

🇰🇬 Kyrgyzstan’s Crypto Leap: KGST Stablecoin on Binance 🚀

Oh, the winds of change whisper through the valleys of Kyrgyzstan, carrying with them the scent of som and the promise of blockchain. 🌬️ Behold, the land of nomads and yurts has birthed a digital offspring-KGST, a stablecoin as steadfast as the mountains themselves, pegged 1:1 to the som, now dancing on the global stage of Binance. 🎭