PUMP Token Tanks Harder Than My Ex’s Credit Score 🚀💸

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PumpFun’s PUMP token is dropping faster than my enthusiasm for New Year’s resolutions-down 35% in a month while the rest of crypto just kinda… flails pathetically.

And here’s the kicker: the platform’s been shoveling money into buybacks like a desperate ex buying back their dignity. Spoiler: It’s not working. 🎭

Buybacks: The Financial Equivalent of Putting Lipstick on a Pig 🐷💄

Pump.fun launched its buyback program right after PUMP debuted-because nothing says “we believe in this” like immediately throwing money at the problem. They’ve spent $218.1 million so far, including $32.7 million in the last 30 days. That’s enough to buy a small island or, you know, a lifetime supply of regret.

In theory, buybacks should help. In reality? It’s like trying to stop a tsunami with a teacup. The entire crypto market is down 30%, and PUMP’s just out here doing its own sad little swan dive. 📉

“PumpFun is spending $1 million a day on buybacks, and PUMP is still down 80% from its peak. At this point, they might as well light that money on fire-it’d be more entertaining.” 🔥 -Some Analyst Who Definitely Shorted PUMP

Today’s special? Another 6.9% drop, bringing PUMP to a cool $0.0017. That’s “I found this in my couch cushions” money. 🛋️💸

Oh, and whales are abandoning ship like it’s a sinking Titanic meme. One genius dumped 3.8 billion PUMP (worth $7.57 million) after losing $12.22 million. Congrats, you played yourself. 🐳💀

The profit numbers from @Pumpfun are staggering

Only 99.8% of all wallets on $PUMP made < $10k

And over 97% made < $500 while most lost money

– Sōka_Data 📐 (@Soka_Data) December 24, 2025

Bottom line: Buybacks can’t fix a token with the utility of a participation trophy. Until whales stop yeeting their bags and the market stops acting like my Wi-Fi during a storm, PUMP’s gonna keep sinking. 🚢⚰️

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2025-12-24 10:03